Funny that way….

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I won’t say it again this week,
more about being work-weary and worn and smelling of Ben Gay
and how my knees pop and crackle
because it’s October
and,  well,  our busy season is hard that way.

I’ll tell you instead how vivid turquoise the sky over me can be
and how the drape and arch of twigs and vines
can make my heart go all swimmy and glad
and I don’t even try to  figure that out anymore.
I’ll share how a blaze of sunlight wrapped in cloud
can glitter flecks of plum and raspberry and tangerine
and how noisy grackles in the treetops make it sound as if
the woods find something hilarious
and it’s pretty much impossible not to  laugh along.

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I’ll tell you  that I’m thinking how grateful I am for fields
wearing their Autumn swish and rustle,
all rich and loamy and raining seeds for next year’s wild blooms
and for the pumpkins everywhere,
each bright orange globe a shot of courage
for the grey and cold to come,
and for the way the light goes golder
and the shadows more purple
and memories somehow more vivid

and how there is  treasure
in what the sky speaks,
and the wind whispers,
and how the trees will hug you back

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and how gentleness is strength
and the way the earth flings up ebullient praise to her maker
and you can hear it if you listen
and I  get to be a part of that,
my own marks in the dirt as valuable as
the bells crying out in grand cathedrals

and I suppose that makes me a pretty rich woman
which is not something you’d likely guess
if you saw me rambling down some backroad in my dirty truck
with my windows rolled down and the music cranked up high.
Oh,  you’d think maybe that I’m happy enough
because of the singing
but rich?
I doubt anyone would guess that with a look.
Life is funny that way

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“…and in the morning when I rise
you bring a tear of joy to my eyes and tell me
everything is gonna be alright.”
-Kenny Loggins

into the wild….

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I want more of this in my life,
to get offroad and into those fields and woods
I swoon over as I drive along busy
and heavy with gotta be somewhere else,
to put my feet into those rivers and wallow for awhile,
to follow a path and let the twists and turns in the trail
untwist some knots in me.

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I want to tramp unhurried through the forest,
to follow deeper into the woods an old stone wall
and maybe hear it’s stories,
to wander down a dirt road just because the sun feels warm
on my hair
and the sky has a blue about it
that moves me to feeling free
and there’s  nowhere in particular I have to be
just for now.

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 and I can follow
just because my heart is calling me.

I’m so hungry for this.
And so I’m going to slice off some thick
chunks of time this year
and see where the wild winds
may take me.
I’ll be sure to come around and share with you
what the woodlands whisper
I’ll be here every week
with wild and growing joy.

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“Night and day the river flows.
We are all canyoneers.
We are all passengers on this little mossy ship,
this delicate dory sailing around the sun that humans call the earth.
Joy,  shipmates,  joy.”
-Edward Abbey

(THANK you for continuing to come around even tho’ I don’t show up on google reader yet…..hoping for some resolution soon!)

of treasure and bells


Yes!  I have such a thankful YES to share!

and as I work to tuck Rivergreen in
for her long Winter’s nap
I linger over the treasure chest of living
she has been,
this business we created as a life raft
and the ship she has become these seven years long
and I honor the journey that together we have shared

the way that growing Rivergreen
grew this family,
how we worked and bonded and tumbled and listened
and fought for,  cared for,  discovered
and needed each other,


for how we learned to really serve
and grew a strong NO
and learned to be true
and not pimp ourselves out because of need,
for all the flowers we got to know
and the dear friends we made along the way,

for those getting free times that broke my heart wide open
like that day in July when,
drenched with heat and grimy work,
I came undone in the  chatting
with a lovely lady customer
reclining regal in her marble pool,
frosty pearls  collecting cool around her glass,

….oh God,  I remember her flawless poise
and polish
as every insecurity I’d ever known as a woman
gnawed through my composure,
teetering there on the edge of tears
and how once she took her perfect tan inside
i let my  jealous tears fall hot
and spat through gritted teeth
“what in the hell am I doing down here?”
~my questions tumbled out as seed
and the answers began to grow.

And I learned to look and see my worth,
that i am not the sum of what I do
or what I seem,
to see the enough-ness,  the beauty,  the treasure
in what the sky speaks,
the wind whispers,
how the earth gives up her secrets
and how trees will hug you back

and how rain is rewarding
and gentleness is strength
and timing is everything
and how earth flings ebullient praise
to her maker
and you can hear it if you listen
and i am  a part of that,
my own sound heard,
my own marks in this dirt as valued
as the bells crying out from grand cathedrals.

As Rivergreen slows and sleeps this winter,
we’ll board another vessel,
a new job for hubby  will pull the weight awhile
and give this body and soul a rest
and when we wake her in the Spring
we’ll paddle gentle,  Rivergreen and I
and let the next chapter unfold
with plenty of space
for nexts to come
and this is a whale of a relief
for me.

I know this was l-o-n-g,
so full up with so much to tell
…thanks for catching the snippets that jump to you
and for sharing my thanks-giving!

“We had to learn to bend without the world caving in,
I had to learn what I’ve got,  who I’m not, and who I am.
I won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough,
I’m giving you all of my love
even if the skies get rough.”
-Jason Mraz