To just feel free….

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I’m celebrating my birthday this week
with some gentle hikes and deep breaths and easy togetherness
with ones that I love
and a gift I’m giving myself that is so simple
(like this,  my word for the year)
that it helps knead out the strain I sometimes carry
over being another year into this thing
that I sometimes feel I’m doing rather badly.

Life.
It’s such a big deal.
And I want to do it wholehearted.
So I’m giving myself a wide generous spread of permission
to make enough mistakes;
(you almost can’t make enough,  you know)
and to dance badly
and more,  please,

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 to love out loud-er,
to ask for crazy stuff,
to not take it on heavy when someone calls my art “my work”
(I know it’s my play)
and to forgive like my happiness depends on it,

to feel free,  in fact,
to give away more than seems reasonable,
to show up even when I’m gimpy
(maybe especially when I’m gimpy)
and to believe that Life is also sweet on me.

blog feel free
To feel free
to just
feel free.

To help celebrate another year of living,  I’m pouring some handwritten love
through my etsy shop this week

…..if you want to order one of these for yourself
or as a gift for someone else,   this gardener will be honored to help
do some intuitive soul-tending in that beautiful heart of yours:)
Because I love sharing the journey with you.

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I want to sing like the birds sing,
not worrying about who hears
or what they think.”
-Rumi

~

choosing to cherish…

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“I miss Dolly,”  her faint voice trembled
with over ninety years of love and loss,
her tiny frame seated near my kneeling down
as I planted the blooms that will keep her company
in the living and letting go.

Her goodbyes have been a long and steady stream,
husband,  siblings,  family and friends
…so many graveside goodbyes,
sitting small now in the yard,  wistful eyes tugging at memory
and searching the windows of Dolly’s house empty next door
still unsold and looking  painful hollow.

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I listened to the homesick  sound her heart made
and clucked soft and pulled weeds from Dolly’s bed,  too,
so the lonely wouldn’t grow so tall
and filled Sara’s  bowl with attention and fresh water
and “I hear you” and “I care”
and made sure the flowers will sing her their sweetest songs

and packed up my tools and the wisdom
that is her gift to me,
this freshly fertilized choice to cherish
and I tuck it in close to heart as I drive away
and hear it deep down,
hear it clear and strong:
Appreciate
Show up.
Don’t waste this.

Life is shorter than our busy days can make it seem.
Be here now.

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“To live in this world,  you must be able to do three things.
To love what is mortal,  to hold it against your bones
knowing your own life depends on it,
and when the time comes to let it go,
let it go.”

-Mary Oliver