These days…….to live them all.

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I’ve been writing gifts (sorry for disappearing for a while).
Writing and wrapping like the busy elf I sometimes am.
All the while,  waiting and watching for the word that might find me,
my own little gift to tuck inside my heart and carry with me into the new.
I’ve danced with several.
The one that wants to come home with me is so bold and sure of itself
that I can only smile and shrug at the others,
take it’s hand
and go.

All.

All of me.
With all of my heart.
Even when I feel the hiss that that I’m too loud,  too expressive,  too ebullient,
too much.
Be the all of me,  anyway.
For all of my life.
Give it my all.

frozen

Always.
All day long.
Stand beneath the great wide and feel the small of me in it,
surrounded by it all,
and then feel the all that I carry inside
and embrace it.
Acknowledge it.
And release it generous
with love and hope for us all.

(holding close to heart those good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people)

I wish you all the joy your heart can possibly hold.
And then a couple of measures more.
A cup-runneth-over type of situation:)
For all of your todays.

fresh tracks

“I have no need for half of anything,
no half time,  no half a man’s attention.
Give me all the earth and sky.
And at the same time add a new dimension.

Half the truth is of no use,
give it all,  give it all to me
I can stand it.
I am strong that way.”
– Carly Simon

stronger in the showing up….

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I keep showing up,
carving out the space and time
to rest my eyes on the sky
while the sun shimmers low on the horizon,
suspended like a breath,
then exhales into the night,

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keep being wowed by how quickly it happens,
how easy to  slip right by
if I just did this one more thing quick first;
like a whisper in a crowded room
I could miss  it in the scurry
because life is sweeping past
and if you don’t kneel down and put your hand into the river
you may not recognize.

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And I have sometimes drawn back from the living
because I feel so much,
sometimes feel it all too much,
and the pain can make me flinch and close down and curl up tight inside
for just a little while
and as  I watch all these ordinary little whiles fill up
with so much that I wouldn’t want to miss,
bits I’ve mostly missed my whole life long,
it shakes me awake to the choices I hold

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and as each evening I walk back to my car
rubbing the  sunspots from my eyes so I can drive home,
I feel stronger in the showing up,
as if all of this light is infusing my choosing
as these days, they quickly go by.

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“You can change or stay the same.
There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.  I hope you see things that startle you.  I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.  I hope you live a life you’re proud of.  If you find that you’re not,  I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
-Eric Roth,
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay