of treasure and bells

Yes!  I have such a thankful YES to share!

and as I work to tuck Rivergreen in
for her long Winter’s nap
I linger over the treasure chest of living
she has been,
this business we created as a life raft
and the ship she has become these seven years long
and I honor the journey that together we have shared

the way that growing Rivergreen
grew this family,
how we worked and bonded and tumbled and listened
and fought for,  cared for,  discovered
and needed each other,

for how we learned to really serve
and grew a strong NO
and learned to be true
and not pimp ourselves out because of need,
for all the flowers we got to know
and the dear friends we made along the way,

for those getting free times that broke my heart wide open
like that day in July when,
drenched with heat and grimy work,
I came undone in the  chatting
with a lovely lady customer
reclining regal in her marble pool,
frosty pearls  collecting cool around her glass,

….oh God,  I remember her flawless poise
and polish
as every insecurity I’d ever known as a woman
gnawed through my composure,
teetering there on the edge of tears
and how once she took her perfect tan inside
i let my  jealous tears fall hot
and spat through gritted teeth
“what in the hell am I doing down here?”
~my questions tumbled out as seed
and the answers began to grow.

And I learned to look and see my worth,
that i am not the sum of what I do
or what I seem,
to see the enough-ness,  the beauty,  the treasure
in what the sky speaks,
the wind whispers,
how the earth gives up her secrets
and how trees will hug you back

and how rain is rewarding
and gentleness is strength
and timing is everything
and how earth flings ebullient praise
to her maker
and you can hear it if you listen
and i am  a part of that,
my own sound heard,
my own marks in this dirt as valued
as the bells crying out from grand cathedrals.

As Rivergreen slows and sleeps this winter,
we’ll board another vessel,
a new job for hubby  will pull the weight awhile
and give this body and soul a rest
and when we wake her in the Spring
we’ll paddle gentle,  Rivergreen and I
and let the next chapter unfold
with plenty of space
for nexts to come
and this is a whale of a relief
for me.

I know this was l-o-n-g,
so full up with so much to tell
…thanks for catching the snippets that jump to you
and for sharing my thanks-giving!

“We had to learn to bend without the world caving in,
I had to learn what I’ve got,  who I’m not, and who I am.
I won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough,
I’m giving you all of my love
even if the skies get rough.”
-Jason Mraz