If I could,  I’d travel back to this moment in time,
32 years ago today,
and stand before this starry-eyed dreamer
in the discounted prom dress she bought off the rack
in a store where the beautiful brides ordered gowns.
I’d smooth back her dark,  curly hair,  look right into those hopeful, hazel eyes
and,  grinning courage,  whisper somehow these words
in hopes that she’d believe it sooner,

that

~ Though it makes for magic in the movies,
no one can complete you.
That’s a crazy-making expectation.
Wholeness is an inside job.
But there’s hope when you find yourself out on that slippery slope
and you can go a long way down that sad road and still stop,  turn around
and learn to live in the love you longed for.
Restoration is real and you’ll wallow in it someday.
Don’t despair the process.

~ Ditto for happiness……no one can take you there.
Again,  that’s pretty much your job.
Contributions may come.   Deposits and withdrawals.
But the account is yours to keep.
  Manage that thing.
If you’re overdrawn,  do something.  Take responsibility.
Get help.  Get healthy.  Get happy.
But get out?  Not so fast.  Do the work and fight hard and fair and long
and don’t panic when it all seems to go to shit.  Be willing to be surprised.
Don’t bail on imperfection.

~ Be who you are.
If  the relationship is causing you pain,  see if you’re stuck in a dance that doesn’t work.
Old steps,  old patterns,  compensating for old injuries.  Old pain.
Quit the dance,  not the dancer.
Don’t settle.  Learn a new way.  New steps.  Wade into the thick of it and pull out what’s real
Keep that.  Celebrate that.  Do that.

~ Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Be good to you…….lavish it on.   Fearlessly.
Bitterness doesn’t protect you.  Wisdom does.
Wisdom forgives.

Love yourself.
Take yourself out on dates.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get to know you……really listen and care.
You’ll be surprised at the goodness it works in your relationships.
But don’t do it for them.
Do it for your very own heart.

32 years ago today…..the song that walked us back down the aisle after the “I do’s”
Through all the fumbling and flailing and falling down hard,  we’re still doing
and I want to do and do some more:)

“Some hang on to ‘used-to-be’
Live their lives,  looking behind,
All we have is here and now
All our life,  out there to find.

The road is long,  there are mountains in our way
but we climb a step every day.

Love lift us up where we belong
far from the world we know
up where the clear winds blow.”

-Joe Cocker

I’ll be sending copies of my August zine,  Ripplesongs,
to Susan of Windrock Studio and Jeannie of Marmalade Gypsy.
(they’re awesome)
With a big whoosh of love!