anyway and everything….

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It’s groaning with gratitude,  my anyway jar,
filling up with goodness glinting like unpolished gold
in these hardscrabble times
and my heart grins brighter with each plunk of plenty
and I remember laughing how I thought I’d fill one quicker
with “stuff that sucks”

and I think that maybe,  in time,  I’d have had to dump
the “holy crap,  this bites” pile into the
“thanks for this brilliance” jar and see it all true
and call it all good,  the whole lump of it,

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because it’s all being worked together that way,
crafted into something I wouldn’t have wanted to miss
or control
or sleep through dull

and now  I’m thinking thanks for it all,
the bits that are beautiful and blistering and balmy and broken;
I’ll take it all grateful
because loving genius is weaving the parts
into story large and strong
and I can trust this resourceful heart
with my everything.

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Just doing a little heartcheck as the year unfolds
and the one little word I chose
*anyway*
still challenging me.
Do you have a word that’s speaking to you?

If you are kind,  people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,  you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Be successful anyway.
What you spend years creating,  others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,  some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.
In the final analysis,  it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them,
anyway.”

– attributed to Mother Teresa

Shine and soar, anyway

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“Bells”
  there was so much juice on that word
as I traveled around the sun these past twelve months
and opened up to fresh skies and some new ways
and began carving a bright new groove,
even if it was slow going
and isn’t half done.

But there was this enormous grace in the carving
and even as Fall turned into Winter
and circumstances seemed to mock my hope,
and this tender heart of mine got broken up pretty badly
I found that,  still,   my banged up joy is stronger than despair
and the bells keep playing anyway.

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And I’ve been listening for a new word to ring clear
and quiet in the heartache
it snuggled near
like a big wet kiss
from my lab’s warm nose
and it feels like a firm guiding hand on my back,
this little word,
as I head into the nexts
because I want so much to squeeze more juice from my pens,
my camera,  my choices,  my days.

My little word for the year:  anyway.

(Brave, beautiful beginnings to you,  too,  friend,
with plump shiny hope that whatever your deepest heart is longing to do,
you go and do it,  anyway)

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“I sing,
I dream,
I love,
anyway.”
-Martina McBride