Sand, surf and certain hope

ripplespeak
It’s a wrap!
The impossible Spring season
that loomed foreboding on the horizon
is behind us now
~mission accomplished.
I heave a sigh of relief
and squeeze exhausted tears from my eyes
as I pull off the paved roads
and step out into summertime’s back forty,
letting it’s slower, gentler pace
begin to unlock the blue in the sky
ripplespeak

and pour it’s balm

over my soul.As I offload my fatigue into the sea,
I watch the season grow distant
in the rearview mirror,
this thing that genuinely frightened me,
and softly whisper grateful wonder
that we’ve come through.

….and that other caregivers
will tend the gardens I watch and water,
weed and whisper over
for one delicious week
of wallowing in saltwater sweetness
before heading back into the nextbig unknown.

ripplespeak

(this intimidates me too.)

I could bury my face in the sand
(it’s easy here)
but instead I stand,
wave
and call out
“hello,  scary-looking iffy place in my life,
I’ll be there next week.
Just want you to know
I look forward to meeting you!”

And you know,  I’m not bluffing.
It’s real!
Something brave is blooming inside me.
And I take another look,
refuse to live in dread,
remember the oceans of grace that surround me
and dig my heels into sand,
surf,

ripplespeak

and certain hope.

Beauty rest…

strawberry bird

I stumbled into this weekend feeling tattered and worn. My lists said keep plowing but my heart said REST. I decided to set aside most of the doing and simply be.
Silent accusation buzzed me like a horsefly…..should do more, accomplish more, organize more, produce more…and better
and faster and more efficiently. Now!
I decided to tend, instead, to the garden deep inside me. Resisting the urge to rush, I let my breathing slow and my heart grow still. Sanctuary.
I let the “shoulds” and “musts” wait and stepped into the sweetness and
sanity of resting deep. Far from irresponsible, this was courage.
When I step into this garden, it’s beauty rolls me like white clouds drifting across the summer
sky. It calls to the joy in me….tugging on it until it spills into my cells and smoothes the kinks from my nerves. I remember Dostoyevsky’s “Beauty will save the world.” I’m letting it save me now from the crazymakers that try to bully me from my resting place….stalking me with the lie “it’s all up to you.” Splashing my face with cool awareness, truth calls me into rest…into knowing my place. I’m here to work and tend the garden. Unbroken love tends and cares for me.
Drinking deeply from these waters, I lose the striving, hurl the cares and toss the lie.
This is my choice. And it’s brave…
….braverest.