Behind the purple door….

playful in purple

 

Sadness knocked on my purple door,
my cheery door embraced
by thickset jasmine
and roses tumbling over themselves
in living laughter
that quiets the past
and sings over today.
I like this door
~strong to stand behind,
protective from the harsh outside,
me tucked away safe
and enfolded in soft linen
in every shade of forgetting.
But wisdom nudged me
near the knocking
“open the door”
and so I greeted sadness
and stepped outside
for just awhile.
Welcome,  pain of my heart.
Not too far…..just to here on the stoop
and I’ll sit
with this uninvited visitor
on the front porch of my soul.
Surprised by the grace
to be in this and stay,
not darting away
with trite explanations
or numbing diversions
I let the sadness talk
and teach
and I heard her
without panic
and it was okay.
The memories shared rocked me like a landslide
but here on this porch,
watching ants marching somewhere
like soldiers on a mission
I let sorrow get on with hers.
As I grew bold enough
to look up and meet the eyes of my pain
I was surprised by the beauty
I’d drowned out before
and allowed it near,
unmanipulated,
and found it left me softer,
less afraid,
and something else altogether new and different
…….more whole.
And so I ushered sorrow to my garden gate
and thanked her for dropping by
and said how I’m glad that she came
and noticed in her hands
a travel bag
and forced an awkward laugh
and joked “had you planned to stay?”
Sorrow tilted her head and smiled
without any judgement at all
and gently explained
she’d be leaving now
and as she departed
and I felt the lighter spaces
I realized she’d been with me all along
behind the purple door.