In every wink of light….

When it hurts really bad,  this life
and I’m walking,  sometimes crawling through,
my hands can get to shuddering in the wrestle to lay down the white-knuckled way
I take on when I feel scared,
to get my fingerprints off where I want to wrangle some control,
to fix or defend or self-protect
but the wind whispers first accept
and don’t forget to love it –
Love it good,
this imperfect, raw,  hysterical,
complex,  intricate,  beautiful life.

This life so vulnerable is yours,  Spirit whispers,
for every single hour that you’re given,
yours for all the days that you’re alive…
this gift – be most excellent to it.

Let go the ideal,  the longing for certain and sure.
Let go the push,  the demand,  the rush to get back to what was.
And then love it here and now the way you love on something precious;
don’t leave your one ember of a life untended
like a dog coldly turned out on a lonesome road.
Love it because it’s yours to notice and steward and wrestle and thrill,

and even when it burns and bruises
and gets stalled in overwhelm,
don’t toss stuff and shallow comfort at it,
running away or numbing it down.
(Don’t hunker down inside the news or hunker down away from it.)
Don’t wait this thing out so that you can get back to your life.
Life needs your presence now,
just more of you stretched out on the ground with your face to the sky.
Step back inside your skin and engage,
and life will love you back.

Somehow in the crazy places we can step all over it
like something underfoot.
When you catch yourself un-living,
start breathing again,  breathing all the way down
– breathing to the bottom of your being.
Breathe into your life
and be generous about it.

In all that you’ve lost or left behind
your heart still thumps curious to live these moments,
your soul still here for the tending,
body still hungry to move and yours to feed
and your creativity still wilding to discover and play and please-go-and-see.

And even when anxiety sits stubborn on your chest
and bears down heaviness,
unfold yourself
and choose it again,
in every wink of light
– choose life.

“Every great loss demands that you choose life again.”
– Rachel Naomi Remen

Big love to Susan of Windrock Studio whose name we drew for last week’s giveaway.
I’m doing another this week – another homemade art journal (getting better with each go,  these).
Lots of pages I’ve started for you to explore and riff off of and lots of empty ones for you to fill.
And some handmade cards and bites of art and handwritten love.
Just leave a comment and you’re in the drawing – back next Wed.
With love and big hope.

(I’ll have more art journals for sale up in my etsy this week – baby steps, baby:))

Comments

  1. Huge thanks.
    I long ago decided I could have a life – or I could have an existence.
    Life costs more. Life hurts more. And is worth immeasurably more.
    I chose life and continue to choose life.
    Heartfelt hugs (of the non-infectious variety) and oceans of caring are flowing your way.

  2. Thanks for sharing your poetic thoughts during this time. Always a pleasure to see these arrive in my inbox. Much love. 💖

    Lindsay

  3. Jane Brocious says

    Oh, Jennifer! This might be my favorite of all times! Thank you so much for these beautiful words and for all of your art. This one I will share with my whole family today.
    So much love and admiration to you!
    ~Jane

  4. Isn’t it amazing how we grab on to life when we see it threatened? How we savor the weeding of the garden, the walk, the birds, the cooking, the cat, the board game with someone you love, the email from a relative or a friend, the phone call? We will never give up or give in. Life feels raw now. But also with a depth of love and caring that is so very powerful. Your words read so very true. Thanks for this on a cloudy morning, one where the temperature has dropped and the daffodils are shuddering But we are here to love them. Every single one.

    • jennifer says

      Yes, all the ordinary things become elevated. We see how golden.
      Thanks so much for your kind encouragement – the warmest of hugs
      and big hope that the sweetest air surround you:)
      – Jennifer

  5. Such words of wisdom coming my way via your beautiful blog. Thanks for making me thing harder.
    Stay safe and well.
    Hugs, Julia

  6. I am so thankful for how you tend to your life which overflows into this beautiful, generous blog space which means so much to so many … good job, you.
    xoxo

    • Something so good to my heart about the words “good job” – I didn’t realize
      how much I needed to hear them until I read your kind words. Thank you.
      Thank you sooooooooo much,
      – Jennifer

  7. I love how you share your process. And the way that you hold all.of.life together in your heart all at once and the beauty that you create from it all is so soothing to one’s soul. Thank you! xo

    • I really love these words: “hold all of life together.
      I feel like that’s been my biggest stretch and so it really does
      my heart good to hear you say. I appreciate so much your share.
      – Jennifer

  8. Maureen Blake says

    Oh my…… wow…… your words….they found their way through the ragged labyrinth that is my heart right now and breathed hope. I WILL tend this one ember that is my dearest life…. and I will unfold myself, into the gold of this moment…. heartdeep thanks, Jennifer, for how you listen to Spirit and share with such grace.

    • The way your words flow from you feels like a brook I love to visit:) Thanks for
      saying them here – my heart feels them like river sounds:)
      Much thanks,
      Jennifer

      • Ahhhhh, Jennifer, so very sweet to know my words sound like water to you… this river of me is inching her way home to the ocean. People like you help me find peace until I make it to the sea💕

  9. Eva Phillips says

    My favorite lines….And even when anxiety sits stubborn on your chest
    and bears down heaviness,
    unfold yourself
    and choose it again,
    in every wink of light
    – choose life.
    Thank you…love you, my friend

    • I always so appreciate that you take the time
      to read the words I write down; touches my heart so big.
      Thanks, forever friend – I appreciate you always.
      – Jennifer

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