Even song…….

Even when the night dances so dark on my mind
that my peace gets shut down hard,
when my life feels overdrawn and over-budget
but under-spent;
In the ache and stall and prickle
and in the fear that can sit so heavy on a belly
that I freeze clear through to my spine,
even then it is there,
rumbling low,
fluttering hope.

In the fear that my mistakes may cost more
than I can ever help to pay,
that I may have loved much but not well,
may have caused more harm than healing,
more thicket than clearing,
more frustration than good…..

that a stray word or exhausted miss
may have broken things so hard
that the final word
is
suffering.

Even there, in what could quick become despair,
a bud burns still inside to open
to sizzle and surge and batter through rock
and shriek life back into all that died.

In the stabbing glare of all I may have wasted
or wandered off from,
there’s an epilogue unwritten still
but swirling always fierce with hope
that won’t let go
even when
I must.

It rumbles  new beginnings,  new pages,  new leaves and buds and seasons,
that what was lost may still be found,
that again what was buried may live.

That in all of the loss and leaving,
in the dreams that died in the shell
my heart is safe to lean into what’s coming,
into the quiet thunder that’s humming
resurrection,
hold steady,
it is well.

“And in great decay comes great renewal.
Life finds a way out
of the darkest spots.”
– Tyler Knott Gregson

Comments

  1. Dear Jennifer, your poetic soul is just flowing over with new life just like the tender shoots that poke bravely through the cold ground and with time becomes such beauty that bedazzles us with unspeakable beauty or the delicate rose that is born from the hard woody branch. You are so gifted with your poetic words that express your heart and soul. It is a true gift.
    Hugs, Julia

  2. I am so very glad to hear that that bud still/always resides within you. And hope the day comes when it bursts into bounteous bloom.

    • Thanks so much, Sue:) I’m leaning into learning to let go of the bursting and hold onto the hope:)
      The stuff of Mr. Rogers and happiness:)
      Always I appreciate your share here,
      Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…Even song…….My Profile

  3. This is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you! xoxo

  4. I love your poetry and your attitude to life. May the blossom always lie within.

  5. Oh Jennifer, you dig so deep into the soul and when it comes out it is with such eloquence and strength and hope. From bud to bloom. Love big. So few do.

    • From bud to bloom:) Oh how I love that….thank you Jeanie:)
      And for your kind words, always bright with encouragement….big
      love and thanks with a whole lot of grinning and maybe even eyes
      misting over here:) Always I appreciate.
      -Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…Even song…….My Profile

  6. Hello Jennifer old friend, heart song weaver.

    I haven’t kept up, haven’t been regular in my reading and yet, when I return, it is like coming home to find the kettle on, the fire burning, the hearth warm.

    Thanks my friend for your words of hope and possibility, your grace and light.

  7. Hello Jennifer old friend, heart song weaver.

    I haven’t kept up, haven’t been regular in my reading and yet, when I return, it is like coming home to find the kettle on, the fire burning, the hearth warm.

    Thanks my friend for your words of hope and possibility, your grace and light.

    • Louise:) i love knowing that you’re out there living out your own journey
      while i’m over here living mine; i hear your voice on the wind:)
      Thanks for your kind words…..always I appreciate.
      And big love and lift to you in your new digs. Moving is hard:/
      Rest and peace,
      Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…Even song…….My Profile

  8. There aren’t any words to add to Louise Gallagher’s comments except to add my own “Thank you.”

  9. such perfect words at this time of the year.
    I, too, carry that worry that I may have loved much but not well and an even bigger worry that I might have caused more harm than healing … some of life is that,I suppose, a worry.
    Your sweet thoughts and images always raise my hopes and like Louise and Robin I love landing here to catch my breath.
    xo

  10. The first two stanzas of your poetry
    Target so many hearts I am sure and pierce
    My feelings and heart to the core of my being to the place called suffering,
    Jennifer you truly have a gift 🎁
    From heaven to shower and rain down blessings to the weak with just the right words!
    I identify as a kindred spirit.
    Yet my hope is hanging on by a thread
    for that resurrection of time
    And new threads in my tapestry be woven into my story and the effects on others
    To complete the love deficits where I
    Fell so short .
    Hallelujah to the Lamb my eternal
    Hope!

    • jennifer says

      Lucille:) I’ve been a bad blogger! So sorry for the delay in responding:)
      It’s been a wild season of discovery and, well, wildness. I’ve been away more than I’ve been engaged.
      Thanks for your patience:) I love your words and appreciate each and every one you share.
      Your heart is golden:) Much love to you and your everydayness.
      -Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…Painted words and calling waves….My Profile

      • Lucille says

        Thank you so much for responding 😇
        I wish you to be showered with many
        Blessing from above all your days ❤️And bless the work of your hands and heart ❤️ ❤️❤️
        If ever in southern pines ,
        The door is always open to you for a ☕️ coffee and conversation .
        Much love your way always .
        Lucille

  11. Oh Jen, oh so timely….. how did I miss this one before?

    • Hello, hello…..gosh how i’ve missed you! i looked around and couldn’t find you
      a time or two. Now I can follow you back to your front porch:) Thank you:)
      Much resurrection to and for and in you during this season, Elizabeth.
      With love and big confidence that you’re exactly where you are meant to be,
      Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…Hand in my pocket and heart on my sleeve….My Profile

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