A smidge from the middle of my own sweet lane…..

Serving up some sweet and simple from the archives today
because it so fits, this small smackerel.
Just a smidge – for your snacking pleasure:)

I want to believe in rest,
the kind that finds me when I’m true.
The sort of peace that soaks through honest
to the real of me
and it’s scary,  still,
because it can feel like stepping into fog on a ridge
that may give way if I step down the full of me solid.

Rest is so like trust,  that way.

But I want to believe in it,
especially when I’m feeling driven to please,
hungry for sanctuary,
my molecules charged with rush,
jarred to attention,
soul strings strung tight
and plucked too hard and fast.

Do you ever get like that?

Codependent.
I’ve re-learned,  healed,  developed,  and come a long way baby
but sometimes I get dragged back into that strange and strangling undertow.

When I remember what I’ve forgotten to love,
(do you sometimes forget to care for yourself too?)
I’m swept back into my own roomy lane
where there’s this rich and ridiculous grace,  and plenty of it,
with only one thing ever to do
at a time.

This creates some amazing space for remembering
how to keep right on breathing,
to wriggle free from the believing that’s been squeezing
and do some living of a life that’s true.

“Oh sweetheart,  love is kind;  it doesn’t stand still and do nothing
when it sees it’s own need.
I don’t need stress to do what I know to do;
that’s not efficient,
the way peace and sanity are.”

– Byron Katie

(ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  happy breath)

 

16 Comments

  1. Elephants Child on May 4, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    So very familiar. So painfully familiar. Why, oh why, are the lessons about self-care the very first we forget.
    Hugs and healing to you. Today and always.

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      I wonder if it’s our culture? Or just our humanity.
      Whatever the reason, I’m so grateful that we keep on growing
      and learning and leaning into healthy changes.
      And for those who love and laugh with us along the way.
      Like you – thank you:)
      -Jennifer

  2. Barbara Shallue on May 4, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    It’s so easy to slip back into that mode… and too often I end up feeling like a martyr and resentful, instead of offering my care out of love and remembering that I deserve that same care and love, as well. I hope you found some rest! xoxoxo

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      Yes. Lots of yeses. Resting sweet and much now, thanks:)
      I appreciate you so,
      Jennifer

  3. ladyfi on May 4, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    It is easy to get stuck in one’s patterns, isn’t it?

    Lovely pictures – so peaceful.

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      So easy. Old dances learned early seem to be default settings, sometimes.
      Grateful for new moves:)
      Thanks, Fi,
      Jennifer

  4. Lynn Wilkinson on May 5, 2017 at 1:18 am

    Rest in the seat of grace and mercy. Be the beautiful woman you are and know yourself to be.

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Awesome picture. I like that seat:)
      Fits me perfectly:)
      Thanks, friend. Your heart is gold.
      -Jennifer

  5. Robin aka on May 5, 2017 at 6:56 am

    Your images…your words…I always enjoy coming here for a taste of life.

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      A taste of life:) I love that:)
      Thanks so much, Robin.
      Life is good, yes!
      -Jennifer

  6. jeanie on May 5, 2017 at 7:05 am

    Your words strike such a chord. Indeed, it is easy to forget or ignore what we have learned and fall back into the old patterns. Vigilance, I think, is the key — but that, too, can be tricky. I love how you express so beautifully your challenges and remind us that challenges may vary but challenge itself is universal.

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:10 pm

      Tricky all around:)
      Challenge is muscle-building. Always uncomfortable at times.
      I appreciate the way your words land on my heart – always soft
      and life-giving. Thank you:)
      -Jennifer

  7. Julia on May 6, 2017 at 8:26 am

    Life is a complex journey with many paths. We all get lost sometime but somehow we find our way back with time. I find that I discover something I never saw before when I take an unknown path but I’m always glad to get back on the path I set on.

    Take care,
    Hugs, Julia

    • jennifer on May 8, 2017 at 5:09 pm

      Complex. Yes. Thanks for seeing and saying.
      Finding our way back is a big part of living, isn’t it.
      Yes, exactly. I appreciate your perspective so.
      Thanks, Julia,
      Jennifer

  8. Susan on May 15, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    you sure always know how to find the truth in the daily living and I love you for it.

    • jennifer on May 23, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      Thanks for saying, Susan; I so appreciate your warmhearted words.
      Like sunshine on a rainy day:)
      -Jennifer

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