Living loved or driven…..

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I wrangled out a post yesterday,
pushed it through the sieve of some sleepless hours
and tried to coax some juice to share.
Because it was time and I wanted to find the lovely
and serve it to you here.

Then I dumped it in the trash
because it felt forced,
driving me,  and then I felt them like a song,
the words I scrawled on the console of my old work truck
in red lipstick,
wrote them down bold so that maybe my heart would hear it stronger
in the wounded place where I sometimes go bloody
in the heat of a small day.

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Because sometimes my hungry places want to carve it somewhere big
“I am here”
“I matter”
“Do you see me now?”
As if only something beautiful or important enough
might repair the holes I hide.

Like the lipstick on my console,
I’ve decided to just leave them to the light.
Let the guy at the garage scratch his head and puzzle:)
Lay my unloved places bare
so that Love can find and heal and fill them there.

It’s risky business,  leaving yourself open to love.
But I’d rather live loved than driven.

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The words scrawled in red lipstick across my gimpy parts:

“You don’t need to justify your existence.”

– Don Miguel Ruiz

(big glad honest sigh)

I’ll be sending out a package of handwritten love to Lisa Moreland this week.
Gonna plunk names into a hat again this week to draw for
another little personal love bomb
from my heart to yours.
Thanks for coming around:)

 

Comments

  1. Just the healing words I needed this morning. Thank you Jennifer!

    • I’m so glad, Rebecca. Big birthday love to you this whole week long (at least!).
      Much joy to you. Just so much:)
      -Jennifer

  2. Jennifer, there is such power in your words. I love that you threw out a post because it was “forced” and you shared with us what is real. Live Loved. These are wonderful words to live by — and I intend to do exactly that.

    On a completely unrelated note, I may be in your neck of the woods in mid/late June. It would be fun to connect if we can!

    • I would LOVE that, Jeanie! We’ll try to work it out!
      We’ll talk:) Thanks for your kind words, friend:)
      -Jennifer

  3. I love that you recognize “forced” – thank you!!!

    • Something deeply beautiful about honest, isn’t there.
      I think real is the most beautiful thing. Thanks for
      all the real you share:)
      -Jennifer

  4. Thanks my love, I needed these healing words this morning . Love to all

  5. Loved this and I find my own strategy is to ripen slowly and organically which you are obviously doing too….ever so naturally x

    • Exactly. It’s a beautiful thing to let things be what they want to ripen into being.
      Organic relationships are worth the wait and time and mess.
      Thanks and love,
      Jennifer

  6. I truly love your lipstick words and your big, lovin’ heart and your hurt places and your knowing ways and I bet I would love your old truck, too.

    • Oh how your words make me smile:)
      You WOULD love my truck:) We’d have a blast riding down backroads together
      with the windows rolled down and the radio turned up high, singing our hearts out
      together:)
      Love and thanks, Susan,
      Jennifer

  7. Live loved, not driven. Another amen, Jennifer! Blessings to you, sweet friend!

    • Big tenderness to you, dearheart, as you honor your mother
      and her noble life. You are her beautiful legacy.
      Love and prayers for comfort and peace,
      Jennifer

  8. amanda kilburn says

    Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing.

    • So glad you dropped by, Amanda;
      I love it when you come around:)
      Thanks for your kind encouragement,
      Jennifer

  9. Totally get it! The fact is, you DO matter. To so many of us.

  10. Oh such brave and wonderful words to honor ourselves!

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