Burning lines in the book of our lives……
If I could, I’d travel back to this moment in time,
32 years ago today,
and stand before this starry-eyed dreamer
in the discounted prom dress she bought off the rack
in a store where the beautiful brides ordered gowns.
I’d smooth back her dark, curly hair, look right into those hopeful, hazel eyes
and, grinning courage, whisper somehow these words
in hopes that she’d believe it sooner,
that
~ Though it makes for magic in the movies,
no one can complete you.
That’s a crazy-making expectation.
Wholeness is an inside job.
But there’s hope when you find yourself out on that slippery slope
and you can go a long way down that sad road and still stop, turn around
and learn to live in the love you longed for.
Restoration is real and you’ll wallow in it someday.
Don’t despair the process.
~ Ditto for happiness……no one can take you there.
Again, that’s pretty much your job.
Contributions may come. Deposits and withdrawals.
But the account is yours to keep.
Manage that thing.
If you’re overdrawn, do something. Take responsibility.
Get help. Get healthy. Get happy.
But get out? Not so fast. Do the work and fight hard and fair and long
and don’t panic when it all seems to go to shit. Be willing to be surprised.
Don’t bail on imperfection.
~ Be who you are.
If the relationship is causing you pain, see if you’re stuck in a dance that doesn’t work.
Old steps, old patterns, compensating for old injuries. Old pain.
Quit the dance, not the dancer.
Don’t settle. Learn a new way. New steps. Wade into the thick of it and pull out what’s real
Keep that. Celebrate that. Do that.
~ Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Be good to you…….lavish it on. Fearlessly.
Bitterness doesn’t protect you. Wisdom does.
Wisdom forgives.
Love yourself.
Take yourself out on dates.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get to know you……really listen and care.
You’ll be surprised at the goodness it works in your relationships.
But don’t do it for them.
Do it for your very own heart.
32 years ago today…..the song that walked us back down the aisle after the “I do’s”
Through all the fumbling and flailing and falling down hard, we’re still doing
and I want to do and do some more:)
“Some hang on to ‘used-to-be’
Live their lives, looking behind,
All we have is here and now
All our life, out there to find.
The road is long, there are mountains in our way
but we climb a step every day.
Love lift us up where we belong
far from the world we know
up where the clear winds blow.”
-Joe Cocker
I’ll be sending copies of my August zine, Ripplesongs,
to Susan of Windrock Studio and Jeannie of Marmalade Gypsy.
(they’re awesome)
With a big whoosh of love!
What a beautiful post Jennifer. Such pretty photos of the two of you….
“HAPPY ANNIVERSARY” Wishing you both many more blissful years and anniversaries. together.
Hugs,
JB
love and thanks, Julia…..I appreciate and hold it dear:)
-Jennifer
“Quit the dance, not the dancer.” Exactly! Happy anniversary to you and your love!
Love and thanks, Barbara……happy anniversary to you and yours, also!
-Jennifer
Moved as I often am to tears. Tears at your wisdom, your courage, your determination and the beauty you create and share.
Happy Anniversary. And many more to come.
Your words are balm and nourishment to me, friend.
As so often, thank you:)
-Jennifer
Such beautiful words on life and love. Wishing you many more years of happiness.
Thank you Sue; I appreciate your encouragement:)
-Jennifer
What a beautiful love message Jennifer. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary to you both. <3
Thank you Suzanne; love really does conquer all,
doesn’t it:)
-Jennifer
I was revisiting Bookmarks from a couple years back, happen upon your blog and stated to Follow ––– glad I found you again. Love your the color and hear of your creativity <3
Sorry about typos…meant to say…Love the color and heart of your creativity!
Thanks so much, Lisa; nice to see you and I appreciate your visit
and kind words:)
-Jennifer
Happy Anniversary and congratulations on 32 years together! Your post is simple, true and so heartfelt. Simply Beautiful!!!
Hi Shannon, glad you dropped by.
Thanks for helping me celebrate:)
-Jennifer
I remember it well and the bee that got in the edge at the top of Janet’s dress and we were praying that she wouldn’t get stung. You were beautiful then and more beautiful now inside and out. Happy Anniversary to you both!!
Love to you always!!!
I love that story and that you took the time to tell it, Cathy:)
THANK you:) love and hugs,
Jennifer
Oh, my … I was thrilled to my toes while reading every single word of this because I know in my long married heart that it’s all so true, you shared such beautiful, spot on advice and pure wisdom.
But then I saw what you had done at the end!! added my name to receive even more of your splendid goodness, I’m on cloud 9 … thank you, love,for all of this.
And I’m eager to check out that other, interesting name, too … Marmalade Gypsy ~ delicious!
Hope it’s found you by now and that you’re enjoying these last sips of summer, Susan:)
love and thanks,
Jennifer
Such beautiful words, Jennifer, and so very true. Happy Anniversary to you!
And I’ve always loved this Joe Cocker song!
me too, Carola:)
Thanks for dropping by and helping me celebrate,
Jennifer
This is the BEST YET! Totally beautiful.. Wow, thanks so much for sharing…the images and the words…wow.
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Robin;
I appreciate your way:)
So much:)
-Jennifer
The happiest of wishes to you and your love for a wonderful anniversary of love….it is work. And so wise are you to remind us the work on ourselves is what we must do…it does make our other relationships flourish when we flourish for ourselves first! Thanks for these words that fill my heart and soul today!
Thanks for sharing your insights and for being such a cheerleader
and a sweet inspire:)
love and thanks, Donna,
Jennifer
So wise and beautiful.
Thank you 🙂
Thank YOU:)
I appreciate your visit,
Jennifer
Beautiful. You and I have a lot in common with birthdays and number of years married, Jennifer. Happy anniversary, and here’s to many more
We do, don’t we, Kathy.
Glad you dropped by…..I love and appreciate:)
-Jennifer
Wow, loved this one!! Wonderful words!! And Happy Anniversary!!!
You are a beautiful couple and your photos are so lovely and dreamy 🙂
A belated Happy Anniversary to the two of you 🙂
So much thanks:)
I appreciate.
-Jennifer
Your words always soothe my soul, sweet Jen.
I’m coming up on 21 years of marriage and
Needed to read these life and love confirming words.
Real love take real grit. I’m learning the secret to self care and how that works magic for a relationship.
So much love, Kathy
Real love takes real grit……so well said.
True words, those:) Strong. Thanks for coming by
and sharing that beautiful heart of yours,
Jennifer
YOU are the awesome one, my friend. And the beautiful one who looks simply lovely at her wedding and all the more beautiful today for having found out who she really is. And that is something extremely special. When they say “for better and for worse” it’s hard to imagine the “worse” will ever come about. That day is so filled with joy. But when you are together so many years, it can raise its ugly head and only by hanging tight, working through the pain, the stress, the sadnesses and celebrating the joys can we truly discover the real joy of love that sticks, that listens, that cares, that trusts, that is a glorious, life-changing experience.
I am in awe of your words, of your insight, of your bod, stubborn refusal to ever be “easy.” Quit the dance, not the dancer. Yes, I am in awe.
And honored and delighted to be chosen for a Ripplespeak! Your words, photos and art are treasures in themselves, but the best treasure is the you they reflect. Thank you!
Wow, Jeanie, I’m deeply touched by your sparkling words of encouragement.
Like a tall glass of cold water:) THANK you for taking the time.
Much love and thanks,
Jennifer
love and thanks, Kathryn:)
Happy last sips of Summer to you,
Jennifer
Wishing you many more years of love!