tripping the light fantastic….

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I want to believe in rest,
the kind that finds me when I’m true,
the sort of peace that soaks through honest
to the real  of me
and it’s scary still
because it can feel like stepping into fog on a ridge
that may give way if I step down the full of me solid.

Rest is so like trust that way.

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But I want to believe in it,
especially when I’m feeling driven to please
and hungry for sanctuary,
my molecules charged with rush,
jarred to attention,
soul strings strung tight
and plunked too hard and fast.

Do you ever get like that?

Codependent.
I’ve re-learned,  healed,  developed, and come a long way,
but sometimes I feel dragged
back into that strange and strangling undertow.

When I begin to remember what I’ve forgotten to love
and care for
(do you sometimes  forget yourself,  too?)
I’m swept back into the real deal,
that healing,  balancing,  life-giving dance,
tripping the light fantastic.

 

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“Healing may not be so much about getting better,
as about letting go of everything that isn’t you
-all of the expectations,  all of the beliefs
-and becoming who you are.”
-Rachel Naomi Remen

The winner of this week’s giveaway
is the beautiful and soulful Liz Adams;
my handmade zine on the way to you on loving wings:)

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Comments

  1. Your words and image always make my heart sing. Sometimes in rueful memory, often in delight – and always in awe.
    Hugs.

  2. Ahhh yes, I have been working on that codependent side of myself as well. It’s a long road with constant adjustments…glad to say it continues to get better and better!

  3. Yes in order to be healthy we sometimes have to let go…

  4. Gosh Jenifer, thanks for leaving such a nice comment on my blog.I agree with the letting go of what isn’t you. You can tell by your gut feeling..
    I have seen signs of co-dependency in my own earlier life.
    Am I still co-deppendent?
    Im always trying to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable because I get uncomfortable when others are not comfortable. I’ll do without so others can have and I try to help everyone who needs help.
    I get more pleasure in giving than receiving so if that makes me a co-dependent, then I’m happy to be a part of it.

    I’m also very independent and won’t back off when I know I’m right and I always try to do my best because that’s what makes me happy. I can speak my mind and I don’t mince words. I’m direct and right to the point. I’ll let someone know when I’m not pleased and I’ve learned to say no and not feel guilty. I’ve learned to choose my battles and I won’t buy my friends.

    I’ve worked hard to find my own voice and I try to do what I feel is right. I refuse to buy my friends but I put a caring heart in all that I do. I feel that I’m part of creation.
    Maybe co-dependence is overrated.

    I always enjoy your deep thoughts in form of poem. They are always thought provoking.

    Have a wonderful weekend,
    Hugs,
    JB

    • I think codependent is different from love and care
      but they do tend to rub up against each other, don’t they.
      sometimes it’s a struggle to tell.
      being true is the always thing. motivation is everything,
      I guess. I so appreciate your wisdom and ways:)
      -Jennifer

  5. We all need to take time for ourselves- and that looks different for each one of us. Take a deep breath and know that you are worthy. Love your photos!

  6. Yes, I have felt that way. It’s so easy to let ourselves get so spread thin that we don’t even resemble ourselves anymore and we’re no use to anyone. It took years, but I finally understood that taking care of myself wasn’t selfish, but was a duty, and possibly the best thing I could do for those I love. That awareness was such a relief! But it does take practice and I’m glad you’re focused on doing it. Your ‘you’ is such a blessing to others!

  7. It does take practice, doesn’t it, especially when new buttons
    get pushed and we slide into old ways. Carving new grooves is
    such a worthy use of time, even if it’s awkward. (it’s the awkward thing
    that gets me…..sometimes I go with older ways just because they seem smoother).
    thanks for joining the discussion; I so value your input:)
    -Jennifer

  8. Did you creep into my sleeplessness last night, Dear Heart?

  9. Oh yes, that “letting go of everything that isn’t you.” It seems like the answer to so many questions. Thank you for your exquisite poetry Jennifer….it always touches me deeply. I love the light in your flowers today.

  10. Oh Jennifer I love your reflections on rest and think we forget just how valuable it is. Such a great quote by Rachel Naomi Remen

  11. How wonderfully inspiring – and such beautiful photos.

  12. ohhh how valuable rest is, unfortunately it seems like it’s rarely achieved! Maybe it’s too decedent and we don’t feel worthy of it, especially women, there’s always someone elses needs to consider.

    • I think learning to do what we’ve got to do
      in a restful way is a slice of heaven on earth;
      I want to live like that in a big way.
      It’s a big dream of my heart:)
      (I’m so not there:))
      -Jennifer

  13. Ah, I feel more restful just reading your musical words. Inspired by your bumblebee in flight! I do forget about myself, get lost in a whirlwind of thoughts, to-do lists, busyness. I find rest when I sit myself down in my lawn chair and look up at the sky or rest on my yoga mat with my back to the ground. Soaking in nature is where I find my restful spirit.

    • I can lose my unrest most quickly
      with my eyes to the sky, too, Jema.
      It’s in relationship that the jostle burns.
      Learning to let go and love is a daily thing
      in my world. But so worth it.
      Thanks for coming by,
      Jennifer

  14. I have been forced into rest in these last few months as I heal in many ways…it is taking a long time but I am letting go and letting rest take me to that place of trust….loving this one Jennifer!

  15. Boy, does this one resonate. I’ve been resting — that restorative rest that helps heal, helps give you what you need to move ahead. The kind that just lets you “be.” And that quote by Rachel Remen? Isn’t she absolutely the best? I don’t know if I ever wrote about hearing her speak — she was the most magnificent speaker — like her books but with so much energy and light. I will never forget it.

  16. me time is much needed, although not always easy to find.

    love the thistles, always been fascinated with them.

  17. thanks, kamana;
    thistles remind me of the movie Braveheart
    and stir a longing for wild and free
    in me:)
    thanks for your visit,
    Jennifer

  18. Loved this as it is beautiful in both words & photos! So glad I stopped here from The Friday Five. Have a great Saturday!

  19. This part of life is certainly a dance for me, a lot of back and forth. Lovely post Jennifer. xo

  20. Oh, Jennifer! I read lines like this:

    I want to be curious in the places where I shy,
    to be open to the mystery of the messy in-betweens
    and so I fling ebullient thanks for summer soup growing wild,
    for blossom to apples, tender sprouts to pickles in a jar,
    and baby bump to laughing child,

    And I swear there is a book in you, just waiting to be published.

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