a gimpy sort of brilliance….

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I’ve been limping along slow,
gimpy with an ankle that veered hard right
while the rest of me crashed in a heap on top,
a blowout of sorts
and it’s been a swollen black and blue hobble for a few weeks since.

Seems my normal setting is a pretty fast gait,
because this slow going has felt crazy awkward;
“Embrace stillness,”  they said.
“Just stop and prop.”
It sounded so good,  so right.
So why I have not.

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I’ve cultivated a certain quiet in my heart,
often while moving quite fast,
but this business of not moving around at all
seems a different sort of challenge altogether
and if I’m being graded, I’m hoping to slide in under the tag
with a shameless D,  at best
(at the very least I’ve been growing my joy over some new moves,
a hurl and catch way of propelling myself around,
and I should likely be worried that this amuses me).

Does it ever astonish you,  too,  how much growth still to do?

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It’s been life,  real and messy,
bodacious with beauty and worth
and glorious  imperfection,
even with howling pain and broken wings.

And no matter the wobble,  we’re plunked right down in fields of hope
and given voice and an enormous capacity for grace
and it’s ours for wallowing in,
choice by choice,
this,  I think,  is brilliance enough.

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“Life has to be lived,
that’s all there is to it.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

15 Comments

  1. Julia Bourque on March 29, 2014 at 10:21 am

    OH jennifer, I’m sorry about your accident. I hope that your ankle heals quickly. After all it’s that time of year to get busy picking flowers and chasing butterflies. I’m sending some healing thoughts.
    We are still under mountains of snow that is trying hard to melt but was too slow for me. Nature is in no rush and winter is still being generous despite Spring’ shy attempt as taking over the job.

    Stay safe ,
    Love and peace,
    JB

  2. Elephant's Child on March 29, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    I have been damaging my feet here. One broken toe, one toe nail ripped off, two others significantly damaged – which has meant my walking is not graceful (if it ever was) but I can and do still cover the ground.
    Love the golden sunshine of your daffodils – shortly I will be planting rather a lot here.
    I hope your injuries heal – quickly.
    And, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow – so much better than the alternatives.

  3. kamana on March 30, 2014 at 3:09 am

    so sorry to hear of your accident. hope things get healed soon. sending you hugs and much love.

  4. Kathy on March 30, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Jennifer! I am so sorry you are in pain and discomfort and hobbling. Ouch. I am thinking about you and sending you healing thoughts and prayers. As for life and lessons, yes, whenever we need to stop and learn, we do…we do…this one hit you right in the leg. I’m sure this lesson is hard…but did you need to slow down? Oy! Your words are so open and I love how you see it all…and learn so gracefully, even when you don’t think so! Love to you, my sweet friend, k

  5. Rainfield on March 30, 2014 at 9:15 am

    This is life. Real and messy.

    it needs a comb.

  6. jeanie on March 30, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Life IS messy, isn’t it? And I’m so sorry you have to deal with pain and the enforced slow-down it brings. I send you healing thoughts and prayers and admire your wisdom and insight in light of all this. Yes, lessons are hard. But the important thing is we learn and realize them. Hope you are back on your feet and up to speed soon.

  7. Donna on March 30, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I just turned my ankle yet again but not a badly as yours. It will be fine quickly for me…but it is difficult to be slowed and for me right now the weather continues to slow me and keep me out of the garden. But it is something I am dealing with and trying to embrace. Keep up your slower pace and your lessons my friend. And feel better soon.

  8. Donna on March 30, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I just turned my ankle yet again but not a badly as yours. It will be fine quickly for me…but it is difficult to be slowed and for me right now the weather continues to slow me and keep me out of the garden. But it is something I am dealing with and trying to embrace. Keep up your slower pace and your lessons my friend. And feel better soon.

  9. Deborah on March 30, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    Sending you healing thoughts! Love the image of “wallowing in grace…”

  10. suz on March 31, 2014 at 7:51 am

    excuse the snicker………some people just need a house to drop on them
    slow down, heal, change of pace dictated I think
    take care of yourself and heal correctly

  11. kathryn on March 31, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    The Universe has sneaky ways to try and slow us down…hardly ever works tho! Hope you’re up and tip-toeing thru the daffodils soon!!

  12. rachel awes on April 1, 2014 at 6:48 am

    i loooove your soften into joy photo!!! WOW.
    and LOVE + healing to your ankle, dear!!!
    xoxoooo!

  13. Maryse on April 1, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Embrace both the frustration and the gift, dear friend. “The courage to stand (or sit) still” is indeed a huge proposition. I pray you may heal quickly yet keep the wisdom that comes with living at a slower pace. It’s your choice, as you so brilliantly state. Our choice, our power. ♥

  14. Barbara on April 1, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    I am so sorry about your ankle!! I can sense just from your blog how energetic and active you are. Life always gives us ways to grow, doesn’t it? Here’s to fast learning and faster healing!!

  15. Susan on April 3, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Such brilliance & beauty here … hope you fly again real soon.

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