who'll stop the rain….

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It’s raining and I’m sorry.

“But our company comes this weekend….”
the voice on the other end of the line wailed,
disappointed.

“I’m sorry.  It’s just too wet to come.”

“But I really, really need this now.”

It’ll have to wait until the ground dries some.
And we’d make it wicked muddy…
really fob things up.  We’ll get in there as soon as this rain stops
I can’t say when.

Exasperated sigh.
“Well,  I guess we’ll see you when we see you,”
the voice bristled.

I’m sorry.
I watch at the window
as rain falls down all fat and steady
and inconsiderate.

Damn rain

Wait.
I love the rain.
It’s just that  I’m feeling……what is that…… guilty?
Guilty and anxious because I’m not pleasing.
 Because I’m not being lady bountiful.
Because I’m not putting the weather right?

Oh Lord.

I wonder how much of my inner life
 I’ve spent apologizing
for  rain? 

“Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. It means we stop trying to do the impossible, that which we cannot,  and instead focus on what is possible,
which usually means taking care of ourselves.”

-Melody Beattie

I’ll be posting all month,
resting my soul
….know that you’re invited and welcome to join me.

Comments

  1. Hi Jennifer, I’m glad that you stood your ground and didn’t caved in.
    It’s best to wait for the sun. No sense in wasting this moment on guilt, trying to please people. It’s raining everywhere, it’s not your fault. It’s a good day for making sunny art.

    Hugs,
    JB

  2. I’m so glad you recognized you had nothing to feel guilty about!

  3. And I love the blessed rejuvenating rain. But also feel guilty when it interrupts other people’s plans. For intelligent women we make an art form out of irrationality don’t we?

  4. I think we all apologize for things we have no control over. I have no idea why we do this either.

  5. Thank you for the positive post Jen and glad you stood your ground dear one. Blessings.

  6. Familiar sentiments, control, guilt, apology! I love that the rain washes and rejuvenates us when we try to live from a “Good Girl” perspective. I am recovering from my good girlness and daily getting more untamed! I love the truth that you share.

  7. I’m sorry but I can’t do both.
    If you try HARD ENOUGH, you CAN be in two places at the same time, though.

    Huh?

  8. Jennifer, I’ve done the same thing — maybe not the rain, but something. It’s the guilt… sometimes it’s just what it is — appreciate the rain, extra time and more. You’ll get another visit.

  9. i’ve not been very present with blogs this summer…it was fun catching up with your posts…your words and photographs as usual are beautiful…it’s a joy to be back!!

  10. Yes, it’s almost funny when we realize the crazy things we feel guilty about. So well written, Jennifer, and so perceptive.
    My mom used to say, “Take the guilt and throw it out the window”.
    I love the rain too.

  11. Glad to hear you won’t be apologizing for the rain anymore…I broke that guilt cycle a while back with family, but it still appears and with so-called friends….take care of yourself my friend and let that wonderful rain fall. It is refreshing and freeing.

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