tumbling free…..
Somewhere inside is a brave girl child
who got churched too hard and knocked loose from herself
and when the pieces rattled and ached with need
she tucked away the noisy parts
to quiet down the clatter and not draw attention.
She wanted so strong to please the dazzling God
of leaf and sky and sea
but forgot what her heart already knew,
taking on lies like a boat sinking fast
in the drama of “do good and make nice”
and holding her wildness inside.
Until hungry days delivered her back
to the wild shores of her trueness,
each healing tide washing up bits of her self discarded long ago,
and the Love who never left her sent each sparkling wave and smiled
as she tumbled free of the helpless madness
back home to herself.
Some of what she’d forgotten to remember
looks like this:
“Self care is an attitude toward ourselves and our lives that says
I’m responsible for myself. I am responsible for leading or not living my life.
I’m responsible for tending my spiritual, emotional, physical and financial well-being.
I am responsible for identifying and meeting my needs.
I am responsible for solving my problems or learning to live with the ones I can’t solve.
I am responsible for my choices.
I am responsible for what I give and what I receive.
I am responsible for how much I enjoy life, for how much pleasure I find in daily activities.
I am responsible for whom I love and how I choose to express this love.
I am responsible for what I do to others and for what I allow others to do to me.
I am responsible for my wants and desires.
All of me, every aspect of my being, is important.
I count for something. I matter.”
-Melody Beattie
How beautiful is that:)
Thanks for coming by if you’ve been following along.
I know every day is a lot….it’s just for this August, I think.
It’s resting me deep in some funky way.
Anyway, I just learned that my edits don’t show up
on the e-mail subscription that arrives to some of you.
Ugh…….I usually edit quite a bit after I hit “publish” the first time.
I’ll try not to do that anymore…..do my tweaking before it gets to you.
Little learning curve for me…..sorry:)
I think there are many of us who have been “churched to hard and knocked loose” from ourselves. I love the ache and solace you have touched upon. I can see God walking amongst the lines of your words touching many, including me.
Hi Jennifer, I feel a freshness in today’s post, like a deep breath that reaches way down and take it’s time to exhale the stale air.
I think that Melody Beattie is expressing what self care is all about so beautifully. You always know where to search for what your soul need to remember. Letting your hair down and returning to your true self is like being born again. It takes a bit of time but there’s no going back.You have your life to live in joy.
I love reading your post even unedited. It’s like I have to read more carefully and go through the maze and find the treasure at the end.
Hugs,
JB
Another post which resonates. Self care is not something I do well. I need to make a lot more use of that simple and powerful word ‘no’. And I need to find my guilt button and disconnect it.
I really needed this – oh so beautiful. I enjoy your daily posts and if you are planned to write more after August, I wouldn’t mind at all. I read both versions in my email and the blog, so don’t mind any edits. 🙂
Lindsay
I like: Tumbled free of the helpless madness, back home to herself. You and I are on very similar paths… Having July and most of August off from work, has provided me with much more time to not only tend to my mom’s needs, but to my own. Mom’s are more physical, but this summer, mine are more spiritual. These rejuvenating August thoughts of yours, are supporting and rounding out my rough edges and lessons to my Self. Peace to you today, dear Jennifer…and sorry about my confusing lines yesterday. Ooops.
I edit and tweak, too — that’s interesting that they don’t show up.
And I’m delighted to take the time to spend August with you. I love the Beattie piece you shared and am hoping you will continue — even if not every day! Happy Thursday, dear friend.
Have I ever told you how much your words resonate with me? Oh, yes I have…everytime you write something. xoxo
Dear Jennifer, you made me tear up…Isn’t it so freeing and wonderful when you find out that God isn’t at all like the rigid legalistic Heavenly Father that some men try to make you believe and push upon you? …and then as children we begin to process that stuff as truth along with other things we beat ourselves up for inside, for many years, because of that lie and belief. I am sooooo happy for you and seeing that beautiful girl inside come forth with celebration and love for herself. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Thank you for being so vulnerable and real. YOU are loved and YOU are making a difference in others lives because you are so open and being wonderful and beautiful, encouraging Y♥U.
♥Lee Ann
I just wanted to thank you so much for being a faithful bloggy friend. You come to my blog, read what I share and leave a kind comment. All when I have been almost nonexistent for over a month. Thank you, thank you. It means so much to me.
I love this part: “….a brave girl child who got churched too hard and knocked loose from herself…”.
That is me, totally. These posts you are sharing this month have been wonderful and I look forward to seeing you in my inbox each day. I think sometimes your words are those sparkling waves that keep getting sent back to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sending you much love this day…
I am enjoying the ride on your waves…so glad you brought us along for the ride as we are learning as well.
I am enjoying the ride on your waves…so glad you brought us along for the ride as we are learning as well.