Sea deep and sky sure….

DSC05241editededitededited

I dreamed my world was sinking,
going down,  down,  deeper into the
dank,  dark,  depths.
Drowning seemed so horrifyingly sure.
I held fierce the rope I’d tied between us
until my lungs shuddered to bursting,
tucked my chin to chest to muster more grip
and in that flicker of ear-to-heart
I heard it quiet like a lullabye
“I’m deeper,  still……let go the rope”

Let go and surface,  my heart urged calmly.

Heaving deep,  exhausted gasps
my face felt again the sweet rush of air
and here in this big,  wide sea
I let go the weight of worry and rescue,
trusting in a stronger love
that is deeper still.

Do you feel it in your deepest soul,  the fear-grip?
White knuckles shaky on a worry rope you cling to tight and breathless
and blistered and worn,
pulling you down?
Detach….let it go…..there is a better way.

I sense the struggle down below
but also the firm and gentle pulse of peace
as it whispers through the panic
“you can swim….you can swim”

I go calm as I note the salt of the water on my lips,
the stir of breeze
and the vastness and blues of the sky
as the waves toss me sure toward the shore

And suddenly  I  just am again
and not so necessary,
here with my freedom
and my toes in the sand.

“Detachment does not mean we don’t care.
It means we learn to love,  care and be involved without going crazy.
We become free to love and care in ways that help others
and don’t hurt ourselves.”
-Melody Beattie

I’ll be here every day this month,
sharing a little.

Comments

  1. I’m sending you some waves of courage and hope for a a sweeter dream where you are soaring above the deep water and then you can swoop down and barely touching the waves without getting wet to land safely on the warm shore covered with sand where you can leave your footprints. Notice, you are not alone as there’s another set of footprints along yours.
    Hugs,
    JB

  2. I look forward to the balm and encouragement and peace of your words every day! They are a blessing I need right now!

  3. Thank you with ***all*** my heart…

    …so thankful to not be swimming this ocean alone.

  4. …free to love and care for others without hurting ourselves. I am needing this. Slowly but surely, one lesson a day. Peace and love and moments to you! Kath

  5. So beautiful and true. When we care so much it can be like drowning. Releasing and surrendering and coming up for air. Yes, that’s a better path but hard to do at times.
    Love your insightful words, K

  6. I’ve had similar feelings I’ve had as of late….will love to join you this month!

  7. Oops, changed my sentence mid-stream….should have said “I’ve had similar feelings as of late…” 🙂

  8. Trust is a major issue for the drowning swimmer. So difficult, yet so necessary.

  9. I’m joining you this month because I can so relate to your words. I’m spending an hour each day swimming…mostly floating on my back. Like you, I’m learning to totally relax in the water that surrounds me as I gaze up at the blue sky filled with puffy white clouds (sometimes gray clouds threatening to rain down on me). I wish I could put into words (like you do so well) the free feeling I have during this time. The words that pop out of my mouth is something like, “Golly, I’m lovin’ this!” Short and simple. You are truly a poet for all of us to to gather around.

  10. Hopefully you will remain floating free above the water and maybe even flying high along with the birds.

  11. Beautiful! We seem to be processing some similar things this week! Thanks for your courage to express.

  12. Every day this month? Great! I always love hearing from you and most always can totally relate. Happy floating in the sea.

  13. That fear grip can be so hard to pry loose! Proud of you for releasing and sharing it with us to give us courage to do the same wherever we need it in our lives.

    On another note, when our grandchildren were here last week, we all went swimming together. I’ve been swimming once in the past 10 years, and I have missed it so much. I grew up swimming and learned how to swim in a gravel pit turned into a lake. I was a very adventurous child and teen. After swimming again recently and letting go of my fear of putting a bathing suit back on, I was able to enjoy once again that wonderful, peaceful and awesome feeling that being in the water has always brought me. For me it was a wake up call, that I had closed off that adventuresome side of myself all because of pride.

  14. That struggle was mine until I let go and found my feet on the path again…happy to hear you are happy and back on the beach!

  15. That struggle was mine until I let go and found my feet on the path again…happy to hear you are happy and back on the beach!

  16. Such a wise take on the grip of fear and worry, and what a release letting go can be. I have had a tendency to over-care, overprotect, but I’ve learned to let go more and more. I used to read Melody Beattie, and still find her words to ring true. And your words, dear Jennifer, create images in my mind that bring to life, beautifully, the struggles and rewards of life and growth.

  17. It feels like you are writing about me, really… this really touched my heart.
    I’ve been away for a couple of days so I’m now catching up with your daily posts –
    love having you here every day and so looking forward to your next posts. 🙂

    Lindsay

  18. Your words help calm me, too — I feel like I’m going through many of those emotions myself. thank you.

  19. yes, i have felt that “sinking” feeling before… and i’m sure i will, again. so glad we have One who promises to keep our heads above the waters:

    “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. ” Isa 43:2

Speak Your Mind

*