I can breathe!!!

I’m wallowing in air,
real breath,
not a medicated haze
….a leaning back in the swing,
flip flops fluttering to the ground below,
feet dangling free against turquoise sky,
swooping through cool wind gathering hair,
backwards swoosh gathering me
up,  up,  up
until the heavens catch me,
pause
and release to free fall back into flight
kind of breath!

the kind caught on beaches,
and biking downhill
and on open roads with the windows rolled down
and the radio turned up loud

~a  school’s out for the summer kind of breath!

After all these years of gasped prayer and shaky tears,
tight chest heaving 0ut “help!”
while Dr.s shrugged helpless over asthma like this,
another nutritionist pushed a plain brown bottle across her desk
“I just learned about this.  I’d like you to try.  My treat.”
an ordinary miracle,
Albizia complex

While fear climbed up my spine
about another allergic reaction to yet another concoction
and the whole weary business of digging out
from another storm on my lungs

  hope whistled light to trust and try again,
and I nibbled off the end of the first loamy tablet
before I  even started the car
and it tasted like earth
(from the daisy family,  wouldn’t you know)
and my lungs smiled shyly as I drove

and for days now I’m feeling knots worked open,
a coming untangled
and undone with relief,
laughing and crying glad thanks
for generous air enough

and

 the whole possibility that my body will drink
again and again these great bountiful gulps of breath
lifts and billows beneath me
and my soul feels the motion of wind on a swing,
high on the sweet wild air.

31 Comments

  1. rachel awes on May 12, 2012 at 11:46 am

    jennifer dear ~ albizia complex? sweet heart, what ever the name, what ever the help, i am so glad it’s on its’ way + allowing you to school’s out breathe. i am right here, friend. breathing in, beside you. breathing out, beside you. grateful. with love. XOX

  2. Mary on May 12, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    thankful, thankful, thankful!!
    breathe deep!!

    xxoo

  3. Bren on May 12, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    So glad you are finding your way up through the sludge of lungs that give you a hard time. My youngest sister battles the same thing, nothing as pure and a full breath.

  4. suz on May 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    happy dance

  5. kelly on May 12, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Yay!! I’m so happy for you! 🙂

  6. elk on May 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

    your joy jumps off the page ..in flight with a deep breath of happy!! so glad that you have some relief ~~ LOVE love your birds of hope!!

  7. jeanie on May 13, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Jen, this could be a breakthrough for me. Can you send me any more info — like, do you get it at the health food store or is it prescription or what? I really want to try.

    On another note, I’ve missed you during vacation and am eager to read down on all your posts!

  8. Dulcy Stewart on May 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    I felt my lungs expanding as I read this! Such terrible discomfort for you poor thing……. I hope you’ve had a beautiful Mother’s Day today Jennifer.

    xoxo
    dulcy

  9. kamana on May 13, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    keep breathing deep! hugs, K

  10. Julia Bourque on May 13, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Oh Jennifer, what a relief to be able to breath normally again. I’m so glad for you. It’s very scary when one cannot breath and so very exhausting and scary.

    Both my husband and one of my daughters has severe asthma for years but both are doing well now. They still have their puffers but seldom have to use them now. My husband eats the white fibrous part of the orange skin and also grounded sesame seeds. These both contain some compounds that are helpful to alleviate asthma.
    I had never heard about Albizia complex. Thanks for sharing this information.

    HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY Jennifer. Thanks for coming by for a visit . I appreciate your comments so much.
    Hugs. JB

  11. Lynn on May 14, 2012 at 8:27 am

    So thrilled for you Jennifer… the smell of fresh air after a storm is so invigorating to your lungs and your body. The pictures you paint with your words send me into day dreams of childhood when time was never a real factor in how long we played. The idea of a swing with breaths in and out… it’s breath taking. I love love your writing and the images that you put with them… but mostly the images you paint with your words. Lots of joy to you my friend may you breath gently and without fear.

  12. Anne on May 14, 2012 at 8:35 am

    SO glad you are breathing more easily and deeply, fueling the creative mind that brings the rest of us such precious images and words!

  13. Lindsay Drya on May 14, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Flip flops fluttering, love that!
    Again a beautiful writing 🙂

  14. Susan on May 14, 2012 at 11:48 am

    So so HAPPY for you! Albizia…even sounds pretty : )

  15. AnaLisa Rutstein on May 14, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    My heart is smiling for you !!!! Savor the freedom of your precious Breathe and let the oxygen nourish your mind body, and soul. Love & Grace, AnaLisa

  16. Amy Kelsch on May 14, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Jennifer:
    So wonderful! I am smiling for you!

  17. Sue on May 14, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Jennifer, so glad you have found some relief. My hubby also suffers with asthma so I understand what you have gone through. Just in time for some summer fun

  18. Karen on May 15, 2012 at 6:06 am

    I’m so glad youre breathing. So glad. 🙂

  19. Anita on May 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Oh Jennifer, how wonderful!
    To be able to breath sweet air in deeply for the first time in a long time has to be heavenly.
    So, so happy for you!
    xo, Anita

  20. LindyLouMac in Italy on May 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    What a brilliant discovery to be bringing you relief, this is just great news.

  21. Lee Ann on May 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    A jumping up and DoWn and saying YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! with and for you Jen!!!
    What a blessing for your soul. I wish I could be there on that swing with you
    letting my flip flops fall off and celebrating by going higher and higher
    and giggling and smiling over new dreams etc….
    This is such cause for celebration.
    …and I love it that the miracle concoction is made from daisies!!!!

    Here’s to daisies and laughter and playing and breathing!!! Woo Hoo!
    ♥Lee Ann

  22. Kathy on May 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Oh my goodness, Jen! I am so grateful that you have a caring and smart doctor who found help for you!!!!!!! I am feeling very grateful right now, that you can breathe easier. Oh my. Love you, kath

  23. Connie Smiley on May 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    Jennifer, so happy for you. Oh, the things I take for granted. Air, for one. I love your poetry, and each little poetic comment, especially today’s about clinging to the Rock. Thank you.

  24. missing moments on May 15, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Love your words and how you express yourself. Happy for you!

  25. S. Etole on May 17, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    Breathing deep … what a gift for you. My son has allergies and I wonder if this would be helpful for him.

  26. Lynn Fisher on May 17, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Hi Jennifer I’m so happy for you! Keep breathing dear…I hope this continues to work for you…and your words are so beautiful!

  27. kathryn on May 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    your words paint such a beautiful picture!! How elated you must feel to be able to breathe deeply…so happy for you!!

  28. Barbara on May 18, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    Did I know you had asthma? Lord, I totally understand that breathless feeling. So many memories tucked away of just trying to get one more breath and so many emergency room visits. And then of watching my three kids struggle to breathe. I’m so happy you found something that helps! Mine got better in high school, but came back in my third pregnancy. Thank goodness I’ve had medicines that helped. My mom still struggles, though, so I’ll tell her about this one! I just love how your words paint and sing, by the way!!

  29. Kathy Anne on May 21, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Deep clear healing breaths. I could feel your relief and new joy. By sharing this you are helping others too. joy and peace, kathy

  30. Marjie Kemper on May 23, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Wow! I am so happy for you. I can’t begin to imagine how thrilled you must be that you tried one more thing and IT WORKED! Have a wonderful day.

  31. Sandra L. on May 31, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Love your birdies!
    I am glad you’re feeling better. Enjoy this spring! Went for a walk today and found a locust tree, a very small one, with purple flowers that looked like orchids. Visited the creek near our house and heard a frog trilling. Oh joy!

    XOXO

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