Irregardless of walls…
I want my life to sing like the Irregardless in January,
a Raleigh restaurant much like a cold frame
that warmed my spirit to sprouting
like the ones I munched on my beanburger
while sipping red zinger tea.
January sunshine poured in through tall rough hewn windows
lined with green things growing in pots glazed in every shade of earthy whimsy.
To my young eyes, it was a living painting
built by “artists and hippies”
with fresh flavors and fascinating fragrance
that seeped into every pore of my soul
and marked me.
The food was a revelation
…farmers market marries Van Gogh
and I marveled at every particle as if watching a new color being born.
But the glory of the place,
where the creativity angels seemed to gather,
was the bathroom.
I’d slip away from the table and my lemon tahini
and fairly skip down the narrow hallway
to let my soul marinate in the sanctuary.
I loved that tiny room with the high ceiling.
Every square inch was splashed with a mural so bold and daring
Every square inch was splashed with a mural so bold and daring
and brilliant and expressive
it seemed to sing out loud in it’s ebullience.
Like nothing I’d ever seen or dreamed,
someone’s heart poured out on walls.
The rest of the world, in comparison,
seemed dredged in gray flour
seemed dredged in gray flour
and fried until brittle and lifeless.
But here,
warm gardens blossomed and spilled unconstricted
down cinderblock and mortar
and became grafted into my sense of possibility.
I wanted this.
I want it still.
And sometimes now,
when computer crashes and administrative tangles
when computer crashes and administrative tangles
feel like icebergs ripping into my hull,
I close my eyes and remember that herby, loamy smell of freedom
that got inside me then.
And something wildly fearless pokes fun again at the perfectionism dogging me,
gently chiding my narrow vision
until it begins to stretch out beyond the walls
that seem to be closing in on me
and I rethink walls.
They are just walls.
I'm delightfully lost and enfolded
in
these
delicious descriptions
and
life giving
walls …
irregardless …
there is no comparison
to walls (& yes! JUST walls!)
& your glad heart banner! (i loooove that!).
oh yes, friend, let's keep our eyes
on what propels us deeply!
looove to you! xoxox
Love love love your new banner……and the new look in general…….no walls on this blog. Total freedom here……your words always take me on a journey that I wish didn't have to end….
Love you friend
a verse from Song of Solomon comes to mind, Jen….Song 4:12, I think…."A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse…"
May the walls around you be always Garden walls, my friend……
love,
Liz
Jen the newness of your blog is wonderful. Love it. Love the post as well. You can get lost in your words. I see and can taste freedom. Blessings.
as always your writings bring us into deeper awareness of all that rumbles inside. you paint the most amazing word pictures…
b e a u t y .. is found and felt everywhere!!
Oh, how I hope
Jasmine's Cafe does the same for you!
My taste buds are churning.
Love your new look and your words, as always. how you make me think of the same old things in brand new ways. walls. love it.
i loved this! they are truly just walls. i am trying to deal with walls myself. not walls around me, but trying to crumble down walls around a friend.
Jennifer, your blog looks wonderful, as your amazing artwork. Love the image of a place to go when life closes in. I have my "special place" and usually conjure it up when not sleeping, or need a mental escape. Thanks for lovely words to begin my Sunday….
dulcy
The food was a revelation
…farmers market marries Van Gogh
and I marveled at every particle as if watching a new color being born.
i loved this part… and read it all over and over again. I love the scripture in Isaiah 58:12 about how God is the Repairer of Walls.
Never stop wanting it Jennifer! It's those desires in you that spill out on paper and grab the hidden desires in us! Coming to your blog for me is like opening a surprising new present. It brings out the little girl in me and I just want to start clapping and jumping up and down and wanting everyone else to play and open gifts from Y♥U too!!! Through your words those walls come down.
♥Lee Ann
Never stop wanting it Jennifer! It's those desires in you that spill out on paper and grab the hidden desires in us! Coming to your blog for me is like opening a surprising new present. It brings out the little girl in me and I just want to start clapping and jumping up and down and wanting everyone else to play and open gifts from Y♥U too!!! Through your words those walls come down.
♥Lee Ann
rethinking walls… I love that. I needed that.