of the year
is closing in around me
….a dark, dark night of this soul.
I’ve never heard such a silence.
And it tips the apple cart of me
until the scared little girl inside
is sprawled out and gasping,
knocked out of breath,
while rolling down the street
are taunting expectations
I didn’t know I carried
tucked away in pockets
torn in the tumble.
I’m not fond of this quiet girl,
as the strong parts of me are
whipped and bent like a willow
in high winds.
I don’t like the look of her,
am embarrassed by her silent cry.
As I turn to hide my face
from the ugliness of her raw need
I watch my “must”s and “should”s
and realize she may need only my voice.
I can’t fix this
but I can lend my voice
and so I give it over
to her smallness.
She hugs the edges of her soul,
crimped tight and knotted with fear,
as she lifts her eyes
to the face of Love
“Please look at me
Tell me you love me
in a way this heart can feel.
Tell me I’m yours,
lift my chin
say it again,
say that you love me.”
I sit motionless,
not daring to breathe
as Love gently speaks into her despair,
soothing her lonely tears
and kissing away disappointment
until she is
and I feel the weight
of her wholeness.
And I scoop my questions from the pavement
where they spilled along with me
and crawl into the lap of Love,
lean my grownup head against His chest
and still haunted by her song,
I sing it again
“Tell me again that you love me.
Tell me again that I’m yours.
Tell me again that you’ve got me
that tomorrow’s not mine to know.
Tell me we’ll go there together;
tell me you’ll be there too.
Tell me again till I breathe deep and slow
Tell me again I’m your girl.”