Tell me again…

I'm Here

Feels as if the longest night
of the year
is closing in around me
….a dark, dark night of this soul.

I’ve never heard such a silence.

And it tips the apple cart of me
until the scared little girl inside
is sprawled out and gasping,
knocked out of breath,
while rolling down the street
are taunting expectations
I didn’t know I carried
tucked away in pockets
torn in the tumble.

I’m not fond of this quiet girl,
uncovered
as the strong parts of me are
whipped and bent like a willow
in high winds.
I don’t like the look of her,
am embarrassed by her silent cry.

As I turn to hide my face
from the ugliness of her raw need
I watch my “must”s and “should”s
rolling away
and realize she may need only my voice.

I can’t fix this
but I can lend my voice
and so I give it over
to her smallness.

She hugs the edges of her soul,
crimped tight and knotted with fear,
as she lifts her eyes
to the face of Love
and whispers

“Please look at me
and smile.
Tell me you love me
in a way this heart can feel.
Tell me I’m yours,
lift my chin
say it again,
say that you love me.”

I sit motionless,
not daring to breathe
as Love gently speaks into her despair,
soothing her lonely tears
and kissing away disappointment
until she is
at rest
and I feel the weight
of her wholeness.

And I scoop my questions from the pavement
where they spilled along with me
and crawl into the lap of Love,
lean my grownup head against His chest
and still haunted by her song,
I sing it again

“Tell me again that you love me.
Tell me again that I’m yours.
Tell me again that you’ve got me
that tomorrow’s not mine to know.

Tell me we’ll go there together;
tell me you’ll be there too.
Tell me again till I breathe deep and slow
Tell me again I’m your girl.”

 

Comments

  1. oh yes, to love our little girl within!
    jennifer, i've lately been in touch
    w/loving & listening to my inner teenager!
    i send love to allofyou, across time & space.
    & i tell you again, love to allofyou.
    xoxox

  2. oh yes you are and the apple of His eye!

  3. Isn't it wonderful that we, at any time, can climb up in that lap and be reassured that we are loved and He is in control of every detail….no matter our age or circumstances……

    He loves you with an everlasting love and I love you too……

  4. He thinks that little face is lovely

    and

    that her voice is sweet … SofS

  5. I believe I know that same small girl; she and her Father are very close.

  6. PaperPumpkin says

    You are so beautiful. ♥K

  7. Oh Jen, hard times brings out the most amazing inner resources. The depths you are exploring can't be won except in the moments of life's troubles. Your words hold more power to move, to transform than ever before. Hold them tight and slide them into that 'one day book' Praying and thinking of you often.

  8. Oh how God loves that vulnerable, small exposed, and needly little girl.

    He says, "You are my beloved".

  9. Just Be Real says

    Jen I marvel at how you write your emotions out. I am not gifted in this area like you are. It is interesting how God has made us to share our pain in different ways. Blessings.

  10. poetic-chronicles says

    Jennifer, your words speak to my soul. I dig the passionate, spontaneous and hypersensitive torrent of words that find their way out a little girl, throughout a grown-up gal, towards a beautiful human, to make an all-inclusive poem for a delicate soul and a tender heart. I hope you'll find the nicest answers to your questions!
    Valerie

  11. Okay, you have me crying again! Those words from your soul and the little girl inside grabbed onto my little girl inside and they are now holding hands!!!!Hey, they are now skipping down the road together and laughing and singing. I understand that little girl of yours. I know that she has turned out to be the most beautiful inside and out big girl now. One that from her fears and trials has grown up to relieve the hurting hearts of others through sharing her heart and real words that bring such healing and comfort. Y♥U BLESS ME so much Jennifer. I'm so glad that God made you and that he made you my friend.

    Big Hugs!
    ♥Lee Ann

  12. Okay, you have me crying again! Those words from your soul and the little girl inside grabbed onto my little girl inside and they are now holding hands!!!!Hey, they are now skipping down the road together and laughing and singing. I understand that little girl of yours. I know that she has turned out to be the most beautiful inside and out big girl now. One that from her fears and trials has grown up to relieve the hurting hearts of others through sharing her heart and real words that bring such healing and comfort. Y♥U BLESS ME so much Jennifer. I'm so glad that God made you and that he made you my friend.

    Big Hugs!
    ♥Lee Ann

  13. As I read this I was struck at how true this is for all little girls. All children really. Sometimes all they want is for us to look at them, to see them, to love them. And then I think, not just children. We all just need to be seen.

  14. DragonflyGirl says

    makes my heart dance and sing!
    beautiful, absolutely 🙂

  15. gorgeous, jennifer.
    my friend joan steffend just released a lovely gift book called "…and she sparkled." this reminds me of her narrative, too – you've both hit upon that desire to be loved simply for who we are and to reconnect with the child within. love it!

  16. gorgeous, jennifer.
    my friend joan steffend just released a lovely gift book called "…and she sparkled." this reminds me of her narrative, too – you've both hit upon that desire to be loved simply for who we are and to reconnect with the child within. love it!

  17. When your book is published, will you sign a copy jut to me?

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