Silly me…..

rose
I’m going to pay a visit tomorrow
to the henpecked garden
of a perpetually distressed lady
who flits about anxiously
as I coax her pretty posies
back into tight rows.I’ll put things right:
scuffles mussed by renegade squirrels,
errant sprigs that grew unscheduled,
leaves tossed from inconsiderate
trees into her beds
and evict those cheeky weeds.

I’ll return the scene to still life perfection
and remove all evidence of unsolicited life.

And once restored to neat and formal
she’ll heave with relief for one perfect moment
and then begin to fluster over how quickly it’ll all come unglued
and what a shame about that.

And I’ll be silly,
and grin up into the trees
sharing little jokes and laughing with myself,
~laugh a lot,
not at her…..but with joy.

Because I’m from her village
….I get that she feels deeply the need to be proper
and how frighteningly inappropriate untidy feels
and how heavy the burden of concern about appearances.
I understand her compulsion to troubleshoot
and the fatigue that sours the features
on her agitated face.

Because it’s a graceless village we’re from.
There is a mark you’ll need to hit in order to qualify
for love
or help
or mercy.
Only the deserving earn this; it takes measured control.
You can easily mess it up.
There is no safety apart from your hyper-vigilance
because nobody’s got your back.
And it’s a very heavy thing to be so full of care.

That was my village; this was my culture.
But I’ve followed living breezes past those borders
and slowly stepped out onto wide open fields of grace
where “be wise” is replaced by “be free”.

And I’m okay with messy
…edgy and flowy and imperfect,
a bit “off”,
the colors swooping outside the lines.

And now laughing and lightening up feels
like warfare
against the heaviness and control
that strong-armed my own heart for years.

And so I grab hold of silliness like a bright red balloon
and lifted on whimsical winds
scatter carefree laughter like seeds and prayers
and hope they’ll push past disapproving eyes and shaming stares
to grow up strong and free
in this garden, too.

Comments

  1. I am right there with you my friend, running in that field of grace, there is nothing and I mean nothing like it! Into the book this goes!

  2. rachel awes says

    fly your
    freak flag,
    free friend!
    xoxox

  3. We've joined hands to run from this garden to the field of grace..like little girls we are running, jumping, and so happy to be free from the prison walls of judgement…….

    Let's go pick some flowers from this field of grace and we'll make a headband that will fly in the wind……and we'll laugh all the while…

    Your words do something to me…make me want to play with you……Thanks

  4. So good that I had to read it twice to really "get it". Breaking free; you and me!

  5. PaperPumpkin says

    Stepping out onto wide open fields of grace…
    You make my heart sing.
    I feel a lifting of the stress and anxiety I JUST told my husband I was feeling.
    Thank you, Jennifer.
    I am so glad to 'meet' you in my lifetime.
    Love, Kathy

  6. Just Be Real says

    You go girl! Such freedom! Thank you always Jen for your encouraging comments. Blessings.

  7. Straight to my heart<3 EXCELLENT description of it all…..I SOOO ditto heartily what your lovely friend said, Nancy :))"We've joined hands to run from this garden to the field of grace..like little girls we are running, jumping, and so happy to be free from the prison walls of judgement…….

    Let's go pick some flowers from this field of grace and we'll make a headband that will fly in the wind……and we'll laugh all the while…

    Your words do something to me…make me want to play with you……Thanks"

    SO healing Jennifer–yummy soul food for me. Please Lord help me to REMEMBER to visit Jennifer's blog often! OXOXOX Gwen Lilly

  8. Sharron Leaf says

    Mmm, fields of grace…that's where I'm staying! Love your descriptions of everyday life. Can't wait until all of this is in book form to sit on my coffee table and brag, "I know the author of this book!" *brag, brag*

  9. Anne Camblin says

    Your words sing with life! They are so true to you—I can SEE you as I read them, and even more precious, I can see me, too….Thanks!

  10. Your words always dance their way into my heart and make me smile with freedom in the messiness of life.

  11. You blog has now become my "Daily Om". Your words sooth and move me. First place I turn to with my coffee in the A.M. Thank you, Jennifer

    xo
    dulcy

  12. capiche, capiche, capiche……..

  13. Jennifer, you bless my heart so much! Truly, I'm sitting here in tears of gratefulness for knowing such a sweet heart like you my friend. You know what I've found? I've found that you can only appreciate the deep blessing and meaning of beautiful grace, when you've been on the other side of it. Grace gives freedom and that grace also flows right out from you to others just because you are being YOU. You are a GRACE-GIVER my dear, and I'm so thankful that you are my friend!

    Hugs,
    Lee Ann

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