Hummingbird hope…..

hummingbirds

I was sitting with my friend
and her beautiful broken heart
in a memorial garden
we’d recently built for her.
Together in the willowy morning light, we passed the smooth pebbles of loss back and forth between us,
quietly sharing their weight.
We spoke little; simply enjoying the stillness and each other.

From behind her house, where dappled light flickered through thick woods, flew a hummingbird.
His tiny wings carried him quickly
toward us, as if on a mission. He stopped and hovered directly in front of us, eye level and unwavering. We watched for longer than we could hold our breaths, transfixed.
I felt suspended, my own soul fluttery with lift, as if hummingbird wings sliced right through the cords that keep my feet earthbound. Then came a tugging on the cork of my soul… like a thorn pulled from tissue grown thick
with “I’m fine-ness”.
Slowly….slowly…..the notion that my small life was escaping Love’s healing notice seemed eased
from my mind. Gently yanked out. With a slight and muffled “pop” a thick, dewy fragrance swooshed into the space that had been occupied by my good-little-trooper stoicism.
Hope.
Not the manic “I think I can, I thinkI can” kind.
But restful.
The “I can relax because I’m already loved and can’t mess this up”
kind of deep down settledness.
I joined the cherry tree in releasing my sadness.

The hummingbird stayed
while heaven tattooed his outline on my heart.
Time has filled in the lines, adding bold strokes of color.
I play with the idea of letting it spill out onto my shoulder this winter
…..a real tattoo.
My first.
To match the one in my heart
of hummingbird hope.

15 Comments

  1. Relyn on August 7, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    There aren't words, not really. Just I love you. I love your great big, generous heart.

  2. Nancy on August 7, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    Humming Bird Hope…I love it and I love the way your special bird came and visited you and affirmed that you are indeed OK just the way you are and very loved…..and that he was tattoed on your heart….What a wonderful thought to carry through the day and into the night….

    You always bless me so much and give me so much to think about….I love visiting with you…

  3. Bren on August 7, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    God never ceases to amaze me, to see how he comes to us on such fragile wings to do something with such weight. Hope. Indeed. So wonderfully said my friend…and illustrated in your beautiful card. Should that tattoo come into being, you know we are going to want to see it 🙂

  4. Mary on August 7, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    oh yes, let it spill out on your shoulder!!!! 🙂
    in visual form. It certainly spills out in your words to us each time you post!!

    I have always wanted a tattoo!!! :):):)

  5. PaperPumpkin on August 8, 2010 at 1:58 am

    Hummingbird hope. Your words are beautiful, like your heart, dear friend. ♥ Peace, Kath

  6. Just Be Real on August 8, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Jen, your encouraging words to me of recent from my post really hits home. You can relate so well, and I always appreciate your input, thank you.

    Love this Hummingbird poem. It is totally amazing how much a Hummingbird has to eat in a day just to keep his wings going at the speed he does. Blessings and ((((Jen))))

  7. Grandma Yellow Hair on August 8, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    What an amazing woman you are to write from your heart and soul! I read this and then reread and could not believe how much it touched me and everyone else that reads it.
    Your comment on my site was just too lovely and I can not believe I have not been here in a while. Look at the beauty I have missed. So I put you on my Desktop where I will not loose you again.
    The only tatoo I have is when the ones they give you when they start radiation treatments. Bad way to get a tatoo but it is reminder always of how far you have gone since that day.
    Love
    Maggie

  8. Hindsfeet on August 9, 2010 at 5:39 am

    "I can relax because I'm already loved and can't mess this up"

    So incredibly timely and desperately needed words tonight, my friend…..

    Thank you thank you thank you…..

  9. Sharron Leaf on August 10, 2010 at 4:02 am

    A tatoo? Yes! I'll take the trip with you to TatooLand. I want a leaf (my last name) that says BeLeaf next to it. You are so inspiring, dear friend. I can't wait until your book comes out with all of your paintings and writings!

  10. Boonsong on August 10, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    This is very beautiful. Thanks.

    Have a beautiful day, Boonsong

  11. dulcy on August 10, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    I'd rather read your posts than the Daily Om! And your beautiful artwork……oh…..I must have one of your cards!

  12. LeeAnn on August 11, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    If you get that little hummingbird tattoo, I wanna see a picture of it! Your cards are beautiful Jennifer, and your soul is so precious and beautiful too. I'm so glad you are my friend!
    Thank you~ Thank you~ Thank you~

    Hugs!

  13. LeeAnn on August 11, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    If you get that little hummingbird tattoo, I wanna see a picture of it! Your cards are beautiful Jennifer, and your soul is so precious and beautiful too. I'm so glad you are my friend!
    Thank you~ Thank you~ Thank you~

    Hugs!

  14. rachel awes on August 12, 2010 at 10:28 am

    you joined the cherry tree in releasing your sadness?!! ooooooooohhhhh my!!!
    your writing is so brilliant that my soul is
    dancing!!!!!!!!! & your heart is even more!
    & then… your inspiration for a hummingbird tattoo! my heart hums reading this!
    i can't wait to seeeee!
    xoxox

  15. Bobbo on May 24, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Well maaimadca nuts, how about that.

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