thick with wild hope…

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My lap is full of January,
these simple bells,  one for each day,
my heart poured out in bits of art
that keep the stories stirred
and speaking.

I don’t want to forget these riffs,
the horse and rider and rushing water,
blackbirds and hawk and torn feathers beside her,
another year marked with a yes and a go,
crossing the bridge and whistling loudly hope,
of freebird and primroses and stepping into the flow
and open wide and yield inside
down where the soaring grows.

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And I’m feeling new spaces
in even old places,
done with grieving things done and gone,
and I’m letting new eyes
open me wide,
fresh born hope lighting me up inside,
forgiveness  lifting off the weight of hard time
till even my air is going softer,
amazed at the grace,
grinning and breathing
and whispering thanks.

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January has been intense,
a whole lot of living for just one month
and I’m feeling the wild hope
I dreamed of as a child;
when the words find me
I’ll wrap them up and share
because you’re on my mind always
with an always kind of love.

“When hope is not pinned wriggling onto a shiny image
or expectation,
it sometimes floats forth
and opens.”
-Anne Lamott

(and,  hey,  I disappeared from google reader for several weeks.
I believe I’m back,  restored,
but I think maybe you’ll have to sign up again.
oh bother,  I know.
If you see me there,  will you let me know?)

my wild and precious yes…

Dear God,

I heard the shouted “no!”s and flinched inside
where you hold and heal me still
and I think it get it,
this collective wound
that rages against the “you” we’ve painted
with our broken down lives
and it smells like puke, the hurt we do
and chills my spine,
that sound of windows breaking
to let the bad air out.

Cause you don’t smell like that,
you who are breath and sky and sea to me,
and hope and wildflowers and freedom to be
and I’m pretty sure of all beings
the most misunderstood
and judged false by blind pain,

your poetry and parables calculated and pinched
until we see you as the worst
of what we are
….as if we could ever know an artist’s heart
with a scalpel
or dissect a living thing
to poke pure creative genius
until we understand.

I likely know less than I think I do
but I want my life  space to  let you be you
in that same brave way you let us choose to love
or leave you alone.

My soul rests easy
in how secure you seem,
not power-tripping or  punishing or pushy
like the posters we paste
on political walls.

And I’m grateful how you set my heart
to twirling
and spatter flecks and speckles of  honest love
and awe
I throw my life open wide
with welcome,
I want you
~  my  one
wild and precious yes.

“Tell me,  what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
-Mary Oliver