To the dark and endless skies, my love

(second in a series….a little love story)

….There came a slow closing to my heart
with every prick of the lie;
each disappointment made up another story
as did the ugly stuff of life,
stories about the One who’d held me tender in the trees,
lies about his heart
that in time I started to believe
like the way a rumor slowly poisons
until you no longer see the same,
dark rumors about the price of deserving,
too high for a girl like me to pay.

A heaviness set in where I’d once known carefree light,
as if I’d sprouted something shameful,
something hard on holy eyes.
And as my limbs grew awkward and my body shot up tall,
had I become too much of something?  Too big to hold?
Outgrown it all?

There came to my soft places an edge of silent grief
where I’d once felt gently known,
seen generous by loving eyes so understanding and bright
that every drop of knowing was a kindness,
a sunbath of warmth over the very whole of me.
God,  what had I done to lose it?

I was a once-loved girl gone homesick,
feeling lost and  left behind
and I began to pick up speed,  running away reckless from the missing,
too mad to slow down and get quiet,
too lonely to stop and feel,
the lie whispered to me in that way that it does
“you are particularly alone.”

And so I closed my arms tight over my heart,
jaw hard and breath held short and quick like the runaway I became,
shutting out the One who’d brushed over my spirit and senses
like whisps of orange blossom and firelight and lightning over the sea,
with the tenderness and strength of a mother’s devotion
until my fear had melted like wax,
and now had the wax gone hard.

But somewhere down in my belly
there rumbled low like a bell on a breeze
“Come awake,  to all that is sleeping,
come awake, to all that is true,
in the lonesome of your heart
wake to the welcome, the arms still open for you.

“The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gift you gave
To the dark and endless skies,  my love,
To the dark and endless skies.”

– Roberta Flack

Comments

  1. Beautiful, powerful, poignant.
    Hopeful.
    Thank you. So very much.

  2. WOW. Extremely powerful. I’m always blown away by your words and images. Thank you.

  3. This sounds like such painful places to be but you write with such vivid imagination. It’s like waves in motion taking you to some places that you see as it moves you along.

    Beautifully written.
    PS, I’ve been blogging again and have three blog post since loosing our beloved daughter Nicole. It might not show in your blog reader.
    Seasons’s greeting. Hugs,
    Julia

    • Thanks Julia:)
      I’m so glad you’re back to your blog – I’ll be over today to visit and catch up.
      And I didn’t know about your daughter, friend – oh I send love and prayers
      for comfort and peace. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
      Big tenderness to you, Julia,
      Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…To the dark and endless skies, my loveMy Profile

  4. Again, you describe the loss perfectly and beautifully. Thank you!

  5. Peace and hugs to you! I hope this holiday season is filled with love💕❤️💙

  6. Jennifer, your words and images are so rich and evocative – I’m really in awe of your talent. Your story reminds me of a poem, The Hound of Heaven, by Francis Thompson, sections of which I performed in an oratory contest in high school. I too have had my own journey with faith, which has taken me through many twists and turns in my life. I look forward to reading more of yours. Wishing you blessed holidays. xo

  7. Joan Creasy says:

    Beautiful, Jen! Heart-felt! Love to you, Dear One!

  8. Your sweet and tangy words along with a little Roberta … always mighty fine.

  9. I have never read anything that describes so clearly and evocatively the exact process I went through too, and the loneliness and loss that came with it, after feeling so close and loved beforehand. In recent years my spiritual journey has come full circle and I am so very grateful that it has.

  10. Donna Donabella says:

    Always beautiful when i visit…balm for my soul! I have been away but popping in to wish you a beautiful holiday season!

  11. Jennifer, you are so generous to take us deep into your soul And on the journey, we come out enriched. Full of hope, full of love.

    Merriest of Christmasses to you, my friend.

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge