Badlands and bounty and loving it all……

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I took a week away unplanned because I was spent from tugging some story into words
and then I lost my faithful little sidekick,  Lucy,  and I needed to hold some quiet
around me soft while my heart sat with it all for awhile.
In all of my remembering,  I met again the word that found me at the new year.
I’d danced with several.
The one that wanted to come home with me was so bold and sure of itself
that I could only smile and take it’s hand
and go.

All

And so began a year of leaning in to be brave enough
to learn to live from the all of me.
With all of my heart.
Even when I feel the hiss that I’m too loud,  too expressive,  too ebullient,
too much.
Be the all of me,  anyway.
For all of my life.
Give it my all.

barn beauty

Always.
All day long.
Leave it all on the table.

Lucy lived this little word in a big way
and we loved her for it.
And so I welcome again the gifts in the grieving,
both the side that hurts hard
and the side that celebrates the beauty and wonder
and laughter that she gives us still
where we hold her in our stories.

Life is a bounty
and I want to live it all.

I’ll be back next week with a fresh batch of words
strung together just for you.
Wishing you all the joy your heart can possibly hold,  friend.
And a couple of measures more.
A cup-runneth-over type situation:)

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“Hope knows that pain does not get the last word.”
– I’m not sure who said this
but I like it.  A lot.

I’m giving away a package that I’ve added to my quiet little etsy store
– a soul spa,  of sorts.  It’s given me such joy to make and write and send these out
that i want to offer them up to anyone who wants.
I’m plumping them up and letting them sing a little louder now:)
Leave a comment and I’ll draw a name next weekend.
With much love.

Comments

  1. Jennifer, I’m so sorry about Lucy. I know well that ache, but you are wise and I know you give thanks for the pain because it means you had the joy and still have the memories in your heart. Sending you a big hug!

  2. I too know that ache. They wind their paws deep into our heartstrings, and take a piece of us with them when they leave.
    And it is still worth it.
    Heartfelt hugs and oceans of caring.

  3. Sweet Jennifer, my heartfelt sorrow at your lost of beloved Lucy. I’m so glad that she left her paw print deep in your heart and sweet memories that still makes you smile when you remember stories that sings of joy.

    I can still remember the deep sorrow I felt when I had to part with Leo, my big long hair marmalade of a cat who found his way to our front door one day and adopted us. I cried for days after he breathed his last breath. For quite a while after he was gone I expected him to greet me at the door with tail gently wagging. I still can remember him wagging his tail as he just laid in my garden, watching a mouse eat my petunia seedlings. Such a gentle cat he was. Kind of reminded me of the lion and the lamb.
    Warm hugs.
    Julia

  4. Oh, I feel your loss – and also your celebration and gratitude for having enjoyed the gifts of your dog.

  5. I wish I could take some of your pain from the loss of sweet Lucy away. I can not even imagine losing my own Ellie, my best little friend and childhood stuffed animal come-life wish come true. Love to you

  6. Oooh, I need to proofread better…sorry! When I was a child, I always wished my stuffed animals would come to life and play with me, love me…now my Ellie does that. Xo

  7. Oh Jennifer, I’m so very sorry. I know there are harder things than bidding farewell to your fur family — but not a lot. Definitely in my top ten, probably the top five. I remember all too clearly the aching and grief and silence. You know that time will heal, but oh, I wish you didn’t have to experience. Biggest hugs.

  8. Susie Troccolo
    Twitter:
    says:

    Ah, your Lucy. I’m sorry Jennifer. These pups give us their all. They just aren’t with us long enough. All the more reason to love them more and more each day. I’m sad for you today. Sending big love.

  9. A tender tribute illustrated by lovely, lovely blooms in the setting sun. A poignant image that resonates of the “thin places” between here and the possibilities of the divine “there”. In these moments memories pulse as Mary Oliver writes, “As music is present yet you can’t touch it.”

  10. Unplanned away time is often needed to “hold some quiet time”…the best medicine. Thinking of you and your loss…been there three times with pups, but my last one was the worst. My girl’s passing was three years ago and yet it seems like yesterday and my heart still hurts like it was that very exact day. It’s hard.

    • It’s been good medicine, for sure.
      Thanks, friend. It is different, isn’t it, each time. With each pet.
      This one cut the deepest. I wonder if it’s because as we get older, they fill more
      space in our hearts. I don’t know. Libby, her sister, is 13 and i’m soaking in the time with her.
      Such a breath, their days.
      Thanks for your friendship,
      Jennifer
      jennifer recently posted…Badlands and bounty and loving it all……My Profile

  11. Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Lucy. I know it breaks your heart. And I admire your determination to live your ALL, to be all that you are. It seems I spend so much of my life hiding this or that from someone or the other, because they might not like me if I’m “that”. Yet you are teaching me that I need to be ALL that, so they will like the real me–or not–whatever the case may be. Thank you so much for the beauty that you share with the world!

  12. Ah, very sad, the loss of our beloved pets. So sorry to hear about your Lucy, but glad she has left you with sweet stories and memories. You have certainly been through an emotional roller coaster lately, Jennifer. Hope you have found some peace now, as you have taken time to sit with your sadness. Sending you loving wishes.

  13. Jennjfer, Your beautiful and well chosen words were ALL I needed for this day. Please be gentle and give your mind, body, soul whatever is needed most. Much love and Light, XOXO Eydie

  14. Lucy is with you, forever in your heart through her memories. Your story compels me to hug my Popcorn tighter. And I’m giving my “ALL” on the road on our 6,000 mile journey. Giving you dusty, sweaty hugs from Colorado.

  15. I appreciate the all of you so very much. Glad you took yourself away for a bit, all of us puppy lovers know what you’re going through with such a big loss … tight hugs xo

  16. I’m sorry about Lucy. It’s never easy to say goodbye to our furry babies.

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