I put my hands up…

Sleep slides through the cracks in my peace
where it split like a ripe tomato
roasting on the vine,
so tired it hurts,
the swelter in my heart
hotter than the wilting summer heat
and I reach out a floppy arm
to tag heaven in

 for some help with scooching over,
to see with cooler eyes
and find some fresh ways
like a fistful of new crayons
in colors I haven’t met before

and I start laughing at the words
that tumble silly from my mouth
- angels be busy,
kind of giggled, wholehearted,
because the knot at the end of myself
is feeling rubbed in butter
and I dangle,  swinging low.

And wouldn’t you know,
they swung low,  too,  to carry me some home,
some fresh cooling space to stretch out uncrowded,
and how it calms my wiggly spirit,
the pain no longer rolling me
and  a willowy feeling settled in
when I danced around the room.

And,  yeah,  I’d rather do life with more polish
like a band that’s tight
instead of what I am
but I put my hands up
and grin as they swirl the air
while angels being busy wrap my bits of earth in healing,
raining down protection,
infusing now with forever
like they do.

“Joy is the best makeup”   -Anne Lammott

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for awhile
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spiritsong…

There’s a river of glad in these petals,
deep veins of song,
and I’m rich because of their music,
how they swirl their poetry
generous over my eyes
till my soul is humming along

about how sweet the way of seasons
and sunshine and shadow,
and as their joy invites me
lean in close
I listen to them sing their lasts

like wise ones so full of living
at the end
who murmur grateful
about how faithful the love that kept them,
how wasteful the rush,
how needless the worry
how glad for even the hard wind blowing
that gave them their chutzpa
and stirred their muchness bright.
.

Their colors twirlng praise
for the grace that walks them home
and as their song trickles down peace
I catch a glimpse
…the old woman of me
many years from now,
her seasoned eyes shining with the memory
of my still-to-come.

 And nodding that it had been so good  to be,
that  there’d been nothing to fear.
God had this….had it all along
and this journey,
every second of it mine
not to strive
but to enjoy
.

there you are….I see you.

If you get real still,
you can hear it,
the deep warm resonant voice
your childself may still listen for,
a fatherly voice
so moved with affection for you
that you can hear the crinkle around his eyes,
a strong, kind voice lilting with smile.

You can feel the gentle tilt of head
as he tenderly blesses
I see you.”

If your heart is thirsty to hear it
from a daddy who can’t go back and un-forget you now,
his own woundedness  having already spilled over
into your priceless life,
(hard eyes didn’t see him when he was little,  either),
then listen.

Do you hear it?
A father-whisper
(quiet,  because he doesn’t want to scare you),
deeply touched by what he sees
in you,
his big heart thumping warm acceptance
and tender pride,
for who you are.

You fascinate him,
so sweet on you
he can’t look away.

Maybe just be still
and let him dote on you
for a minute.

Hear?


~ “There you are.  We are intrepid.  We carry on.”
-from Elizabethtown

Summer, sing me home…

I want to love  you,  summertime
and s……l……o…….w   this life on down,
going all fluid and free and fascinated,
to live out my art in vivid color
and drink the thanks from every ripe moment.

I want to wander into the mountains with my camera
and hear again the owl in the woods
and find some new swimming holes
and dance by the light of the moon.

I want to dab coppertone behind my ears
and munch cilantro  pulled plenty from the soil
and resuscitate my relationship with the local library
and write a good answer to give
when people say what I should.

I want to linger longer outside on summer nights
and get over the bugs
because you can’t have one without the other
and embrace the storms,
paint my toes berry bright
and get more scars.

To fill my arms with farmer’s market goodness
for fresh salsa
and cobblers
and to  remember how all I need is already here,
to re-purpose,  refurbish and restore
what I didn’t notice before
and when I feel empty,  to fill up on thanks
and wear the coolest cotton dresses.

I want to let summer love me,
to take in the sweetness
and not wish it away in the waiting
for sweet soldier to come home,
to open wide to each shot of courage as it comes
and not miss a moment of living
in all the surviving

and, yes,  I will love you,  summertime.

slipping soft into mystery

You know how sometimes the wishes your heart makes
fall so deep into soil,
covered over tight
like dormant little seeds,
bulging with aliveness
but so buried and forgotten
over the years since you ached them out
that it feels like finding a tearfully lost childhood treasure
just perched there,
along the shoulder of some unfamiliar road
as you’re driving by
and an ancient wistfulness turns your head
and the secret prayer you dreamed
is. just. sitting. there,
this haunting bloom
…heaven winking right at you with twinkling eyes

and it’s so much sweeter than when your heart whispered it out
because while the seed soaked and slept,
you softened
and your fear died
and the blossom bursts brighter
than a cherry lemon sundrop on a blister-hot day

and you pull over and climb out on this lonely country road,
your heart pounding over finding it here
as if it’s been waiting for you all along
and you turn around quick,
expecting someone in skin

but hear only crickets and the soft rustle of evening leaves
and  some old song droning on the radio
and you can’t even think in “thank you”
because you’re wrapped so thick in mystery
that you just have to wear it
until the wonder climbs inside you
and becomes a part of the smile
that is the only word you can find.

You know how that is?

What if you let your heart remember forward
until it slips soft into the mystery
already in the making.

It’s nice in here.