still green on the vine….

Inside of me is marinating
so much
that is still green on the vine
so I’m giving myself a little pass
to linger longer in the light
until I feel the juice.

There is something so beautiful
about letting ripe happen.

the sound of silence

This week has been chock full of change,
just so much jostling,  jolting,  bustling,  bolting,
beautiful,  bountiful change
that I’ve scurried to the hub,
the spot on center of me
where my soul doesn’t squeak at all,
deep in the just-being part
where no words ever go,
leaning against the smooth-worn rock
that finds me like a friend
in this room of the house that I am.

It’s otherworldly quiet in here
and soothing shaded,
the silence soft around me like creamy linen
and breeze before rain
and I settle in present
and surrounded
by an unspoken ease
and take it in gentle
…this kind of gift you open slow.

So I’m few of words this week,
just a gentle offer to sit here with me,
still,
in this exquisite quiet
and listen for the things
we just can’t hear enough.

Peace.

I can breathe!!!

I’m wallowing in air,
real breath,
not a medicated haze
….a leaning back in the swing,
flip flops fluttering to the ground below,
feet dangling free against turquoise sky,
swooping through cool wind gathering hair,
backwards swoosh gathering me
up,  up,  up
until the heavens catch me,
pause
and release to free fall back into flight
kind of breath!

the kind caught on beaches,
and biking downhill
and on open roads with the windows rolled down
and the radio turned up loud

~a  school’s out for the summer kind of breath!

After all these years of gasped prayer and shaky tears,
tight chest heaving 0ut “help!”
while Dr.s shrugged helpless over asthma like this,
another nutritionist pushed a plain brown bottle across her desk
“I just learned about this.  I’d like you to try.  My treat.”
an ordinary miracle,
Albizia complex

While fear climbed up my spine
about another allergic reaction to yet another concoction
and the whole weary business of digging out
from another storm on my lungs

  hope whistled light to trust and try again,
and I nibbled off the end of the first loamy tablet
before I  even started the car
and it tasted like earth
(from the daisy family,  wouldn’t you know)
and my lungs smiled shyly as I drove

and for days now I’m feeling knots worked open,
a coming untangled
and undone with relief,
laughing and crying glad thanks
for generous air enough

and

 the whole possibility that my body will drink
again and again these great bountiful gulps of breath
lifts and billows beneath me
and my soul feels the motion of wind on a swing,
high on the sweet wild air.

of puddles and scars and turtles with wings

This week was
grumpy rumblings gnawing at my tummy
as I let go of gluten and sugar and everything creamy
in a gasp for more air,
lungs so hungry

and digging miles of hard ground,
body scrunched down low,
hundreds of plants tucked in ready
for growing joy

of hurry biting like a nervous dog,
overheating and melting down
fear puddling in the street.

while wildflowers singing wisdom from roadways and fields
took me in,
tugging at the trueness
….they know it’s their highest praise just to be

and hubby and I finding each other’s hands in it all

and shadows not gonna steal  my peace away,
heart going light and defiant
against  the roar of silent monsters
beneath the bed

and I’m grateful still
for tears and scars
and turtles with wings.

“You need more scars.  You need to live.”   -Julien Smith  (The Flinch)