moving into muchness…

July 31, 2011 By jennifer 34 Comments

WELCOME to my new digs…..come on IN!
I’m so not unpacked but still GLAD you came by.
Really, it’s wonderful you’re here.

As I was moving, someone asked
“are you really gonna keep the whole ‘Janis Joplin wild’ thing?”

“Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Well, don’t you think people may get the wrong impression about you?
That they’ll think you’re a little too….you know…..out there?”

“I just mean that people may get the wrong idea about you
…..think that you’re, well, too much.”

Oh. I guess they may. I think I’m okay with that.”

I love that raw, uninhibited, unpretentious and unrelentingly honest
vulnerability that allows our beautifully flawed souls
to thoroughly live out loud and in color the art of our lives
….the laughing, crying, raging, loving, longing wildness

that is simply

innocence

I could play it safe…..stick to the sidewalk of careful image management.

But I’d rather throw off the covers,
fling open the latch,
swing wide the gates,
stretch out my wings
and release the river.

Too much?

Maybe.

But I’m thinking I’ll give myself the freedom
to grow into my muchness.

I’ve got this fantastic shepherd.
I’ll choose tagging alongside of Him
over barbed wire barricades
and rigorous regulation anyday.

“The place to which God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

~Frederick Buechner

potbound and pruning….

July 22, 2011 By jennifer 21 Comments

This has been a stretchy summer

of opening new spaces

for roots

reaching from cracked pots

and

rambling for roomier digs.

It turns me on,

this deeply honest journey

from seed to fruit

and flower
….the way green things,

with no straining or striving,

open up and receive the moisture, light and care

that they need

with no reluctance
or apology.

I love the dailyness of it, too

…the whole becoming process.

Without drama,
growth happens.

Then without ceremony,
they begin to bloom.

What a beautiful legacy,

just exactly what was inside of them

becoming visible

and available

and enjoyable

….simple and easy as air.

God I wanna be like that,

to fully become the most organic,

unpretentious

colorful version
of the authentic me.
No hype;
just fruit.

One of the spaces I’m pruning this week

is my blog.

….just transplanting it to a lighter, more stable spot.

I’ve been unable to come around and leave comments

on many of your blogs

and I hate that!

(wordpress will be more hospitable, I’m assured)

So I’m packing up and moving

(with the wonderful help of Michele Bergh)

Because

(yeah, it’s how I feel about you)

So taking a deep breath,

going palms up

and making the move.

…I’ll see you on the other side.

Hope to be at Ripplespeak.com by Aug 1

and will link it up here just as soon as we’re unpacked.

Please don’t be a stranger

….you’re wildly welcome in my life!

Filed Under: and moving to roomier spaces, potbound, pruning 21 Comments

Rabbithole ripples (a repeat)….

July 15, 2011 By jennifer 23 Comments

I need to believe at least six impossible things before breakfast

…..as if fresh buckets full of stars

poured out

melt holes in heaven’s floor,

poking peepholes into possibility.

I let myself remember that long-ago day

when I plopped my childhood bike down along the sidewalk

and swung through the heavy doors to Hickory Farms

like Alice tumbling down the rabbithole

into Wonderland.

My pockets were empty;

we’d been hunting for used glass bottles

to exchange for dimes

to purchase candy at the neighborhood drugstore

Pickings had been slim;

my steps were silent…. none of that hopeful jingling

that made me the happy bearer of choices.

Hoping to score discarded bottles in their trash,

we went inside to investigate.

Once behind the door, I went breathless with wonder.

It was a visual symphony

….rows and stacks of gorgeous treasures

in brightly colored tins,

boxes and baskets of spectacular candy

tied with rich bows

in every shade of plenty.

It was audacious

…..plates of creamy cheeses,

wafer thin slices of spicy sausage,

salty nuts,

crackers shaped like snowflakes and diamonds,

crisp ginger cookies

and pretty plates of candy wrapped up like shiny strawberries!

The most mind-altering bit of dreaminess was

that I was invited to take and eat!

With toothpicks wearing festive party hats

….really,

a smiling lad offered!

“Samples”, she called them.

Just receive.

My mind REELED!

But my favorite part

(yes, there was more),

like finding my own private cave of treasure,

was the courtesy coffee table in the back of the store.

Beside the pungent smelling brew was a sparkling crystal dish

(the work of fairies, I was certain)

full of snow white cubes made of crunchy white sugar.

It’s true…..little sugary blocks!

I still remember the trembly sweetness

that rushed through my system

to a creshendo and then shudder

as I crunched that first

little wonder. ripplespeak

Like a chipmunk in the Fall,

I left that store with scrunchy pockets

(just a few more for later).

When I swung back through those heavy wooden doors

into the world of dirty glass bottles and dimes,

I was changed.

I still believed in hard work and honest wages.

But there was something more

….a new groove carved into my thinking.

And now, I need to remember.

Sometimes,

even when you can’t possibly earn it,

when your own hands aren’t enough,

grace is given.

Inexplicably and unexpectedly,

provision can come

wrapped in more than you can ask

or imagine.

In a twinkle in time it can happen.

Nothing is impossible.

Remember?

Nothing.

Filed Under: Poking peepholes into possibility; nothing is impossible. 23 Comments

Come to the edge….

July 9, 2011 By jennifer 27 Comments

What if I

come to the edge

of my muddy vision,
all the way to the tip

of secret strangleholds,
artful excuses

and the blame I can shift
so swiftly.

…. to the edge of my judgments,

idealism

and escapism,
to the edge of all the ways

I go numb to real need.

Really, what if I come to the edge

of my urgency and agendas,

out past the anger

…further still where it turns

to deep shades of shame.

all the way past the point

where longing turns to rage

and grief becomes fatigue

…that place where creative juices

leak out and puddle,

seeping into the ground

like liquid gold

spilled and wasted.

all the way to the edge

of missed opportunity,

lost time

and lonely fears

….yeah, right there,

my shaky toes curled

clinging

over that ledge.

Ready to lose some terror, my soul?

Come to the edge,

linger there

and let wild winds whip

your freak flag until the billows

tickle you grinning and giggling

with raw primal joy.

Yeah, there.

what if you just come on out here

…..see what happens.

“Come to the edge, he said.

They said, we are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them…….and they flew”

-(Guillaume Apollinaire)

Come to my etsy and see what’s blooming!

Filed Under: Come to the edge, excuses, pushing past fear, real freedom 27 Comments

Coming into canopy….

July 2, 2011 By jennifer 24 Comments

Crispy and cluttered

and coming undone
I come
crawling into the lap of Love,
my “what ifs” coaxed
into capable
caring hands

and I go calm
as living breezes croon over me
with gentle affection
and kisses
of courage
….no need to climb;
this Love is clever enough,

doesn’t even need my strength
…just wants me
and my real, true colors.

Soothing shelter coaches my soul
to cast off the cares,
toss the control,
and let this crazy sweetness
captivate me
with the clear cooling light
that cradles
comforts
and companions me.