I’m perched on a ladder

a lot these days
pruning things grown high
in the Indian summer sun.It’s different up here
inside the breeze
where earth seems overrun
by heaven
like a sandcastle mote at high tide.

Something inside me goes
a little weightless up there where unfettered beings set their wings and ride the air.

In all the years before
my white knuckles never brushed the sky like this.
My feet felt enormous on this creaky perch
and my hands the size of hams,
clinging and cringing with dread.

Fear of falling~my whole being shivery with it.
Of losing my footing and slipping.
Of losing my balance and tumbling.
Of losing……..control.

Something has bloomed inside of me,
it’s petals fluttery and chocolaty
against my soul instead,
like the brave pulses of new love.

And I like it up here
where it’s flowy with lift
and if the bough breaks
and the cradle falls,
I’ll still be cradled by strong, willing love
and my heart leaps
with the knowing.

 

I need to believe at least six
impossible things before breakfast
…..to keep on believing
as if fresh buckets of stars
poured out and melting
through heaven’s floor
poke peepholes into possibility.Closing my eyes, I let my mind
drift back to that long ago time
when I parked my bike
and stumbled through the heavy
doors of Hickory Farms,
like Alice falling down the rabbithole into Wonderland.

My pockets were empty; We’d been hunting for used glass bottles to exchange for dimes,
dimes to purchase candy at the neighborhood drugstore.
Pickings had been slim and my pockets were quiet
…none of the hopeful jangling that made me feel like the proud bearer of choices.
My childhood friend and I hoped we might find two spare bottles in their trash,
and so went in to investigate.

Once inside, I went breathless with wonder.
It was a visual symphony,
rows and stacks of treasures in brightly colored tins,
boxes and baskets tied with rich velvety bows and crinkly paper in every shade of plenty.

It was spectacular
….plates of creamy cheeses,
wafer-thin slices of spicy sausages,
salty nuts,
crackers shaped like snowflakes and diamonds,
crisp ginger cookies
and even pretty plates of strawberry candies wrapped in shiny red foil.

The magic was, they were “samples”.
I was SUPPOSED to take and eat!
With toothpicks wearing festive party hats.
Just walk right up and have one.
Really…….a smiling lady offered!
Just receive.
My mind REELED!

But my favorite (yes, there was more),
likefinding my own private cave of treasure,
was the courtesy coffee table tucked away in the back of the store.
Beside the pungent smelling brew was a gorgeous crystal dish
(the work of fairies, I was certain)
full of snow white cubes made of sparkly sugar.
It’s true…..little sugary blocks.

I still remember the trembly sweetness that rushed through my system
to a creshendo and then shudder as I crunched
the first little wonder.
Like a chipmunk in the Fall I left the store,
with pockets scrunchy with a few for later.

When I swung back through those wooden doors
into the real world of dirty glass bottles and dimes
I was changed.

I still believed in hard work and honest wages.
But there was something more
….a new groove carved into my thinking.
And now I need to remember.
Sometimes,
even when you can’t possibly earn it,
when your own hands aren’t enough,
grace is given.
Inexplicably and unexpectedly, provision can come,
wrapped in more
than you can ask or imagine.
In a twinkle in time, it can happen.
Remember?
Nothing is impossible.
Nothing.